Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.— Dennis Wholey
Jaw-dropping Funny Personality quotations
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
To love a person is to see all of their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten.
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
Without my morning coffee I'm just like a dried up piece of roast goat.
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person;
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
Intelligent people tend to have less friends than the average person. The smarter you are, the more selevtive you become.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Life has a way of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once.
I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable.
Careful grooming may take twenty years off a woman's age, but you can't fool a flight of stairs.
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is the mirror of who you are inside.
A person isn't considered insane if there are a number of people who believe the same way. Insanity isn't supposed to be a communicable disease. If one other person starts to believe him, or maybe two or three, then it's a religion.
My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence.
Don't confuse my personality with my attitude... My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are...
Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.
The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.
We should not laugh at the person who becoming caught up in his prayer bends his body or moves about in strange ways. Perhaps he moves in this manner to wave off unwelcome thoughts that would interrupt the prayer. Would we find it funny if we saw a person drowning going through strange motions doing whatever was necessary to save his life?
A strong person loves, forgives, walks away, lets go, tries again, perseveres... No matter what life throws at them.
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking.
Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.
It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.
As far as cheating goes, they'll never stop it.
The only way it can be done successfully, only one person can know about it.
Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire.
A person who feels appreciated will always do more than is expected.
The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority.
Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.
Sometimes the person who is the most logical is the person whom we call insane.
I'm not melancholy; I'm a happy-go-lucky person, kind of silly. I like funny things. I have a lot of energy. I tend to like music that's mellow, though.
Nigel Mansell is the last person in the race apart from the five in front of him
Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn.
Swimming is more than a once-every-four-years sport.
My goal is to bring attention to swimming - to give it some personality.
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.
Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.
I grew up as a very sarcastic person.
I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up.