Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.— Mark Twain
Unexpected Funny Political quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.
I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
A businessman cannot force you to buy his product;
if he makes a mistake, he suffers the consequences; if he fails, he takes the loss. If bureaucrat makes a mistake, you suffer the consequences; if he fails, he passes the loss on to you.
You can change your wife, your politics, your religion, but never, never can you change your favourite football team.
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target
I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.
A man said to the universe: 'Sir, I exist!' 'However,' replied the universe.
'The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.
I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
When words are both true and kind they can change the world.
I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign.
I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience.
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
Political correctness is tyranny with manners.
Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can.
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes.
This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. The only reason they get mad at the Black Panther Party when you do it is for the simple reason that we're political.
The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion.
If you want government to intervene domestically, you’re a liberal.
If you want government to intervene overseas, you’re a conservative. If you want government to intervene everywhere, you’re a moderate. If you don’t want government to intervene anywhere, you’re an extremist.
Paul Ryan's love for Rage Against The Machine is amusing, because he is the embodiment of the machine that our music has been raging against for two decades
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people.
..religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin!
You can build a throne with bayonets, but it's difficult to sit on it.
I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one.
Trust me, You can dance.
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.
The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
Be the person your dog thinks you are.
Say something idiotic and nobody but a dog politely wags his tail.
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.
REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.
There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
There is no difference between religion and politics.
Both involve lies and fanatical beliefs that generaly defy logic... Just like rock climbing.
Dogs are great assets to candidates, and the feeling seems to be engendered that if a dog loves the candidate, he can't be all that bad.