Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.— Mark Twain
Astounding Funny Politician quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Mind is never a problem. Mindset is
When your back is against the wall, there is only one thing to do, and that is turn around and fight.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.
Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.
India is not, as people keep calling it, an underdeveloped country, but rather, in the context of its history and cultural heritage, a highly developed one in an advanced state of decay.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history.
Unless we take action on climate change, future generations will be roasted, toasted, fried and grilled.
The interesting thing about coaching is that you have to trouble the comfortable, and comfort the troubled
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
By the way, did you ever realize that if Moses would have turned right instead of left, we'd have had the oil, the Arabs would have had the sand?
Paul Ryan's love for Rage Against The Machine is amusing, because he is the embodiment of the machine that our music has been raging against for two decades
You can build a throne with bayonets, but it's difficult to sit on it.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.
I've been a politician and so I'm sometimes cynical about what politicians won't do. When I hear a politician say something that makes no sense whatsoever, I think there's one of two things there: There's money or the promise of money.
Why don't I drink from a straw? Because straws are for suckers.
Trust me, You can dance.
It (LSD) opened my eyes. We only use one-tenth of our brain. Just think of what we could accomplish if we could only tap that hidden part! It would mean a whole new world if the politicians would take LSD. There wouldn't be any more war or poverty or famine.
Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars - are all legal now. Discuss.
The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama.
Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
Politics is the art of postponing decisions until they are no longer relevant.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Of course a politician's promise isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.
I'd have to go for Donald Trump ... you know, 'cause Hillary Clinton is declared that she's gonna follow in Barack Obama's footsteps. There's been just too much funny business on both sides of the aisle. She's made a lot of dough out of being a politician.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
On the way up here to the podium, a gentleman came up to me and said, "Governor, you are as good a politician as you were an actor." What a cheap shot.
It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the Internet has evolved into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest hopes and fears of those who use it. After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politicians and religious fanatics.
Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know.
Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
I don't know a lot about politics. I like talking about human behavior. Politicians are funny to me because they often say one thing and behave a different way.
Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.
Show me a man that gets rich by being a politician and I'll show you a crook.
I'm not like a politician that goes around talking about family values.
And I can't get fired from being a funny person because I did something that most people are disapproving of. I think people are just obsessed with this morality that people perceive as being the right and wrong way of doing stuff.
Kings and such are just as funny as politicians.
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely
Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out
We got a lot of politicians up there on Capital Hill.
Ain't it funny how they prosper while the country stands still?