At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.— Ann Landers
Cheerful Funny Retirement quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday.
I tell them, a paternity suit.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff;
know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.
Your best retirement plan for retiring happy and prosperous - don't be a burden on others.
When one door closes, another one opens.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
I really stay busy [in retirement]. I often have to cancel my golf games on the weekends to go play in tennis tournaments.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week.
You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
God has a plan for your retirement.
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
Men in the uniform of Wall Street retirement: black Chesterfield coat, rimless glasses and the Times folded to the obituary page.
Trust me, You can dance.
I'm not retiring. I am graduating. Today is my graduation day. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain't going to happen.
Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying.
Why retire from something if you're loving it so much and enjoying it so much, and you're blessed with another group of people to work with like the gang on 'Hot in Cleveland?' Why would I think of retiring? What would I do with myself?
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
I have made noise enough in the world already, perhaps too much, and am now getting old, and want retirement.
The splendid thing about education is that everyone wants it.
Like influenza, you can give it away without losing any of it yourself.
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas.
The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.
A man can't retire his experience.
What do gardeners do when they retire?
When you stop living at work and start working at living - retirement.
We need to tap the resource of current and retiring science and math professionals that have both content mastery and the practical experience to serve as effective teachers.
Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
Old teachers never die, they just grade away.
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
Thoughts on the Merits of Work The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too.
Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."
I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
Although it may not be a castle, [it is the] functional equivalent of a hotel room, a vacation and retirement home or a hunting and fishing cabin.