Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men.— Harry J. Anslinger
Seductive Funny Smoking quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country.
I am sure there are many things better than a good cigar, but right now, I can't think of what they might be.
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
I blew the lot on vodka and tonic, gambling and fags.
Looking back, I think I overdid it on the tonic.
Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex.
Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
After a truly good meal, an outstanding cigar is still the most satisfying after-dinner activity that doesn't involve two human beings.
I DON'T smoke anymore, except on National No Smoking Day as a protest against those who want to control our lives.
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
And we'll watch them fall, they stand in the way of love, and we will smoke them all.
There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist.
And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?
There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette.
In fact, I got married once on account of that.
Trust me, You can dance.
It would be a service to mankind if the pill were available in slot machines and the cigarette were placed on prescription.
I don't know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf.
A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry to a woman.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
What is the difference between astroturf and grass? I don't know, I never smoked astroturf.
If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.
Of course I know how to roll a joint.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet.
Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?
A cigar has "...a fire at one end and a fool at the other."
I don't consider weed to be any worse than having a beer.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
We shall, by and by, want a world of hemp more for our own consumption.
They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films.
I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
Life's too short to drink bad wine or smoke poor cigars.
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
A cigarette is the only consumer product which when used as directed kills its consumer.
I enjoy smoking cannabis and see no harm in it
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast
Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Federal and state laws (should) be changed to no longer make it a crime to possess marijuana for private use.