If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?— George Carlin
Promising Funny Stuff quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's a heavy mist before my eyes.
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.
Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.
If you are a great dramatic actor then you often don't know if people are enjoying your stuff at all because they are sitting there in silence. But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I allow a lot of room for improvisation and funny stuff. I always feel planned.
I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin.
We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.
You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.
I come from a background of hanging out with friends and shooting videos with them, with funny stuff coming out of the group. I guess we got the same charge jocks get out of sports.
About 100 things that your kid will do that will surprise you and break your heart and it will be a combination of fact based therapy, medically advised kinds of passages accompanied by celebrity anecdotes and just some funny stuff to lighten the load.
I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff.
How deep is the mud? Depends on who you ask. We all go through the same stuff differently.
There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff;
know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.
When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
This is a funny story. We'd asked the guards every day for cappuccino. You know, just as a joke. And they'd come in with their cups of coffee and stuff. And so I get here and I have a spot for a cappuccino machine, and it didn't work. So I don't have any cappuccino ... I didn't miss the cappuccino, I missed the idea of cappuccino.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
Worrying won't stop the bad stuff from happening, it just stops you from enjoying the good.
It's funny, I don't even consider myself a rapper, I don't consider myself a designer, or even an actor. I just like creating stuff and trying to make good work, whatever it is. I don't care if it's designing toothbrushes. It's just making cool stuff to leave behind, that's all it is, it's nothing more.
A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive.
When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, 'Do you have coke in a glass harmonica ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews'
We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.
Trust me, You can dance.
There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV.
I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
Darkness can be funny. It can be quirky. There are different ways that that stuff comes out as a creative person. But the actual conflicted, twisted, decaying, rotting soul? That's not me. No more.
The musical stuff I'd go up for was always funny, sexy, tough-as-nails, heart-of-gold characters.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff.
You'll see a lot of funny stuff, you'll see a lot of daddy knows best stuff, you'll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together.
High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
This is New York, a combat zone, and everyone has to have an angle or they're not allowed over the bridges or through the tunnels. Let them have their angles, it's what they live for. You've got better things to worry about, like making sure the people that actually matter don't try any funny stuff.
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good.
What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'!
I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.
I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff.
And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny.
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.