We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.— Epicurus
Captivate Funny Thanksgiving quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.
People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.
Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.
Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.
It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!
Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
All that we behold is full of blessings.
Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.
Trust me, You can dance.
Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'
Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings.
Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
So once in every year we throng Upon a day apart, to praise the Lord with feast and song in thankfulness of heart.
Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".
I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and soy gravy.
And it's not to say that Thanksgiving will ever justify the genocide of the Native Americans. But vegan Thanksgiving - that's just spitting on the graves, isn't it?
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular.
Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general.
We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.
On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.
I give thanks to my Creator for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means.
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.
God is glorified, not by our groans, but by our thanksgivings.
All across America, we gather this week with the people we love to give thanks to God for the blessings in our lives.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
This past Thanksgiving, my father was at the farm, and I had all 11 dogs in the house with a father who never allowed dogs in the house. And he got up to leave the table and came back and Solomon was in his chair. And he says, "This dog is in my chair." And I said, "It's the other way around, you're sitting in his chair."
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
He who thanks but with the lips. Thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving. Comes from the heart.
Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
Some people are absolutely funny and you want to wish them Happy Thanksgiving in funniest way possible. Here is the list of Funny Thanksgiving sayings. Just chose the quote you want to wish that person. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I don't have to do anything except bring wine and go to my sister's all day and go to the movies with the family. So, actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but there's not much comedy material on Thanksgiving. Melatonin really isn't that funny.
Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.