quote by Johnny Carson

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

— Johnny Carson

Sentimental Funny Thanksgiving Day quotations

Funny thanksgiving day quote Some days I wish I could go back in life. Not to change anything, but to feel a

Some days I wish I could go back in life. Not to change anything, but to feel a few things twice.

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.

Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.

Funny thanksgiving day quote One day, you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the thing you'v

One day, you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the thing you've always wanted. Do it now.

It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.

Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave.

Funny thanksgiving day quote I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world wil

I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.

I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.

Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

Funny thanksgiving day quote A little progress each day adds up to bg results.

A little progress each day adds up to bg results.

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings.

Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.

So once in every year we throng Upon a day apart, to praise the Lord with feast and song in thankfulness of heart.

Funny thanksgiving day quote There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the w

There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.

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It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular.

Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general.

We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.

On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.

Funny thanksgiving day quote To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

I give thanks to my Creator for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means.

God is glorified, not by our groans, but by our thanksgivings.

Funny thanksgiving day quote Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

All across America, we gather this week with the people we love to give thanks to God for the blessings in our lives.

It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

Funny thanksgiving day quote Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

He who thanks but with the lips. Thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving. Comes from the heart.

Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I don't have to do anything except bring wine and go to my sister's all day and go to the movies with the family. So, actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but there's not much comedy material on Thanksgiving. Melatonin really isn't that funny.

Funny thanksgiving day quote Look for something positive in every day, even if some days you have to look a l

Look for something positive in every day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.

Funny thanksgiving day quote There are seven days in the week and someday isn't one of them.

There are seven days in the week and someday isn't one of them.

Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?

I'm from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'm thankful for that.

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Funny thanksgiving day quote Never regret a day in your life: good days give happiness, bad days give experie

Never regret a day in your life: good days give happiness, bad days give experience, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories.

The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need a job.'

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

Forever on Thanksgiving Day the heart will find the pathway home.

It's funny, I was talking to somebody who writes for a cop show, and he was saying how they aren't allowed to acknowledge Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, just because it has to be able to play forever.

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