Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing.— Milton S. Hershey
Profound Funny Things quotations
Some days I wish I could go back in life. Not to change anything, but to feel a few things twice.
Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way.
You may think you have a better way, but you don't have a universe to rule.
One day ladies will take their computers for walks in the park and tell each other, "My little computer said such a funny thing this morning".
One day, you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the thing you've always wanted. Do it now.
Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.
The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.
It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier
There is no such thing as bad whiskey.
Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't.
Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone.
Before you heal someone, ask him if he's willing to give up the things that made him sick.
It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.
A girl should have two things: a smile, and a guy who inspires it.
If you can design one thing, you can design everything.
Today I will go out with the flow of life and trust the process. I will not stress over things I can't control.
I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.
When your back is against the wall, there is only one thing to do, and that is turn around and fight.
The media has created this environment that is okay to say almost anything about somebody who is, you know, right of Jane Fonda. You know, if you are slightly conservative or even libertarian points of view, especially if you are persuasive and charismatic and funny and effective, you will get called the most appalling things.
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Life is a gamble, we scramble for money, I might crack a smile, but ain't a damn thing funny.
Good things come to those who hustle
If you eyes are opened, you'll see the things worth seeing.
When I was young, I believed in three things: Marxism, the redemptive power of cinema, and dynamite. Now I just believe in dynamite.
At sixteen, I was a funny, skinny little thing, all eyelashes and legs.
And then, suddenly people told me it was gorgeous. I thought they had gone mad.
The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.
You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic. If words control your that means everyone can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.
There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.
Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things .
. . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
Americans in particular are myopic. They're not traveling as much. When you were a college student, the next thing you would do on graduation was to take a year off and travel. That's what I did. I went to Indonesia.
Two things you will never have to chase: true friends and true love.
Good things come to those who wait.
...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.
You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.
Sometimes, a break from your routine is the very thing you need.
The most noteworthy thing about gardeners is that they are always optimistic, always enterprising, and never satisfied. They always look forward to doing something better than they have ever done before.
Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world.
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Ignore reality, there's nothing you can do about it.
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
It's a funny thing, when you talk to God, you're religious, but when he talks to you, you're a psychopath.
Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing while in pursuit of something else.