quote by Hans-Hermann Hoppe

If the right to vote were expanded to seven year olds … its policies would most definitely reflect the ‘legitimate concerns’ of children to have ‘adequate’ and ‘equal’ access to ‘free’ french fries, lemonade and videos.

— Hans-Hermann Hoppe

Pioneering Funny Videos quotations

Funny videos quote To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

I come from a background of hanging out with friends and shooting videos with them, with funny stuff coming out of the group. I guess we got the same charge jocks get out of sports.

There's this other world where all comedians want to do is make funny videos.

Typically what's happened in the past is that a comedian gets a standup career and over the course of 20 years builds it up to the point where Comedy Central gives them a sketch show.

Funny videos quote Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.

No matter what I do, I can't help but feel that I'm under a microscope.

Some of it is completely silly, and some of it is meant to be hurtful. For example, a website accumulated all of my music videos to point out perceived Illuminati images. I loved that one. Of course, it was all ridiculous but funny.

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

Funny videos quote I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

42

On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.

Cars are good for entrances and exits.

And there is something about driving that is quite cliched in a funny way. I like Roy Orbison's video for I Drove All Night because it's so literal. It is just a man driving throughout the night. I like that silliness. To be in a video is a ridiculous thing. It's almost impossible to do it without any humour.

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.

Funny videos quote Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

People don't understand that when I'm on the show I'm totally relaxed, hanging out, having a fun time, watching videos, and being goofy. Sometimes I say stupid comments, just being funny, and people think I'm a dumb person.

I find it so funny that for the first time in history, people have access to this great equalizer in the Internet, which grants everyone the same knowledge base, and we use it to read album reviews and watch kitten videos... not to put those two things in the same light!

There are really cool or funny videos, or visually stunning photos, and that's fine, but none of them really give you more when you close that tab, you know? I try to find stuff that a little bit, in a tiny way changes how you see something about the world.

Funny videos quote Trust me, You can dance.

Trust me, You can dance.

23

I can't stress to you enough how much I can relate to teens being cyberbullied.

Something that helps me is looking at old videos of me and my friends from middle school, or videos of my family. I love watching funny videos of my favorite people - it really cheers me up.

With these Funny or Die videos, I do everything for them.

I write them, act in them, and co-direct them with my buddy Brian McGinn, who I grew up with. We also edit them together. We're working on a small scale of Internet videos, but we're slowly trying to make them become a bigger thing.

For years, Blockbuster Video has edited movies.

Like The Bad Lieutenant, when he's masturbating while the girls in the car are doing the thing. I rented it from Blockbuster and sped to that scene, and it was gone. I called up Blockbuster, and I'm like, "I got an erection, and the scene's not there."

Funny videos quote I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I filmed myself drunk, just to see what I'm like.

I watched so many funny videos of people drunk on YouTube.

I like video games, but they're really violent.

I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.

Funny videos quote From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

In my film "Benny's Video," I depicted violence but I failed to say all that I had to say, so I wanted to continue the dialog and that's why I did "Funny Games." The irony is that after I shot "Funny Games," but it hadn't been released at all anywhere.

It's funny: I put money into short films, and I put really good actors in it, and I write some stuff that's really funny, and I'll get, like, a million views. But to the right of me, there will be a video of a kitten that falls into a toilet bowl, and it's three seconds long, and it will get 25 million views.

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

Funny videos quote Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I was on the yearbook staff, so I would take out film cameras and Nikons and take photos around school and at sporting events and things like that. We had a darkroom as well. I just loved it. I also saved up for a video camera to video my friends and cut and paste the videos together and I gave them to all of my friends for graduation.

When we get the remote Russian village online, what will get people to the Internet is not going to be reports from Human Rights Watch. It's going to be pornography, 'Sex and the City,' or maybe funny videos of cats.

I see fighters make funny videos about me and stick them on Facebook and get 20 likes. When I make a video, I sell it to Fox and make seven figures. That's the difference.

Funny videos quote Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong

Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong

So many people have listened to my song because of it - I'm beyond grateful.

It's funny because when I met Spencer and Dustin, they were so excited to meet me, but I was like you're the celebrities to me - they're the ones with a video has over 10 million views.

There were rumors that flew about the two of us, which were complete poppycock.

There was never any romance between Madonna and myself. I mean, we had a moment where we're kissing in that video [Material Girl], but she at the time was with Sean Penn, and I was married with two kids, so there was no funny business there.

My friend Phil Morrison directed a lot of my favorite videos back in the mid- to late-90s - all the Yo La Tengo videos that were funny, a Juliana Hatfield video. He was such an influence with me, and I wanted to do a video the way Phil used to do videos. I did that for Phil.

Funny videos quote Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.

I would say I know nothing about the music business, in a nice sort of way.

I totally forgot I was in that music video. That's so funny.

We have tons of live performances that we're putting on there.

We have music videos. There's a music video for the song called I Am Jesus what is one of the funniest music videos, like we just could not find a place for it in the movie, but it's like crazy funny. And we have the whole video.

I didn't know the comic at all, which is really funny because I grew up here and I had friends who worked at all of the places. Like The Beguiling, which is a store here, and Suspect Video and one of my friends actually worked at Suspect and The Beguiling. So it's kind of crazy that I'd never known the books before.

Funny videos quote When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

The animators are fantastic though. They'll shoot their own reference material, and just go into the car park or something. And they might shoot a very funny scene, or sometimes a serious scene. But they're really just trying to work out the motion. Yet what we get treated to is hilarious video of someone running around a parking lot with a broomstick and a helmet!

What I realized with Funny or Die is that I could take it into my own hands.

On a much smaller scale, I think these videos are an accurate representation of who I am. As weird as they may be, I'm at least proud of them, and it showed that I do have a slightly different voice. I can't tell you how often people bring up these videos in interviews, and I'm so happy to talk about them because we created them from the ground up.

I wouldn't be where I am without these Funny or Die videos in general.

When I was first starting out, I would take roles just to get the experience, but not exactly because I believed in the projects I was doing.

With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'

I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it 'till he hit the ground. Oh, he flew off that tower, hollering at his buddies. "Whoo, check me out, dudes! Oh, that ground is coming up..." WHAM! And what do you say, if you're the operator of that ride, to the next guy in line? "All right dude, you're up."

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