I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.— Lewis Grizzard
Stunning Funny Wedding quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
We never live so intensely as when we love strongly.
We never realize ourselves so vividly as when we are in full glow of love for others.
Trust me, You can dance.
Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.
Marriage is like a hot bath; once you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't; men hope women won't change but they do.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel - they get to know each other better.
Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it. And if I was a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.
Young men want to be faithful, and are not. Old men want to be faithless, and cannot.
Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.