The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese— Steven Wright
Successful Funny Wine quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth
Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
If you believe in Odin and Thor, people laugh themselves to death.
While it's okay to believe in a man who turned water into wine, and walked on water
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup.
All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.
One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
The older I get, the better I used to be.
One not only drinks the wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and-one talks about it.
Trust me, You can dance.
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money.
Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.
Either give me more wine or leave me alone.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.
Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.
The older I get, the better I was.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.
Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
Wine ... offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than possibly any other purely sensory thing which may be purchased.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Good wine is a necessity of life for me.
Life is too short to drink bad wine.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
In wine, there's truth.
Remember gentleman, it's not just France we're fighting for, it's Champagne!
I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate...and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.
Life's too short to drink bad wine or smoke poor cigars.
Give a man a bottle of wine, he drinks for a day. Teach a man to make wine, he'll always have lots of friends
Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather and a little music played out of doors by somebody I do not know.
My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
I can certainly see that you know your wine.
Most of the guests who stay here wouldn't know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.
You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.
Baseball fans love numbers. They love to swirl them around their mouths like Bordeaux wine.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me its a form of sacrament.