quote by Albert Einstein

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

— Albert Einstein

Captivate Funny Women quotations

The best accessory for a woman - handsome man!

Funny women quote To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Meaningful Funny women quotes
Visualise all those meaningful funny women quotes

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Funny women quote Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

A businessman cannot force you to buy his product;

if he makes a mistake, he suffers the consequences; if he fails, he takes the loss. If bureaucrat makes a mistake, you suffer the consequences; if he fails, he passes the loss on to you.

The men liked to put me down as the best woman painter. I think I'm one of the best painters.


Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

Funny women quote I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
45

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

Funny women quote Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.


I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.

I believe that all women are pretty without makeup- but with the right makeup can be pretty powerful.

Funny women quote I'm usually good about my temper, but all these men trying to control women's bo
I'm usually good about my temper, but all these men trying to control women's bodies are really beginning to piss me off.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words.

The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Funny women quote Trust me, You can dance.
Trust me, You can dance.
25

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

Funny women quote I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.


A man told me that for a woman, I was very opinionated. I said, 'for a man you're kind of ignorant'.

Funny women quote Girls compete with each other. Women empower one another.
Girls compete with each other. Women empower one another.

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

The data is clear: If you give a woman an opportunity, she will make a huge difference.

Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.

Funny women quote From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.


I'd much rather be a woman than a man.

Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.

There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who's Mary Astor? Get me Mary Astor. Get me a Mary Astor type. Get me a young Mary Astor. Who's Mary Astor?

Funny women quote Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

There aren't any hard women, only soft men.

Funny women quote Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any de
Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex.

Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.