quote by Albert Einstein

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

— Albert Einstein

Spectacular Grandma quotations

But in the east the sky was pale and through the gray woods came lanterns with wagons and horses, bringing Grandpa and Grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins.

I have to tell you that June Cleaver had a job in 'The New Leave It to Beaver.

' She did. Sure, she was a council woman. She went to work. She wasn't a sit-at-home grandma. She went out, got a job.

All the atoms of our bodies will be blown into space in the disintegration of the solar system, to live on forever as mass or energy. That's what we should be teaching our children, not fairy tales about angels and seeing grandma in Heaven.

Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me.

Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in order to be a full human being.

This is a place where grandmothers hold babies on their laps under the stars and whisper in their ears that the lights in the sky are holes in the floor of heaven.

Yes! I hate everything about this country.

Like, I hate fat white Americans. All the people who are crunched into the middle of America, the real fat and meat of America, are these racist conservative white people who live on their farms. Those little teenage girls who work at Kmart and have a racist grandma — that’s really America.

May your dreams be sweet and your nightmares be spooky-monster-scary and not grandma-died-scary.

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

I believed that there was a God because I was told it by my grandmother and later by other adults. But when I found that I knew not only that there was God but that I was a child of God, when I understood that, when I comprehended that, more than that, when I internalized that, ingested that, I became courageous.

We need to go back to the way it was 30 years ago, when everybody had Grandma and Grandpa, and we were willing to pass moral judgments about right and wrong.

I'm such a grandma. I don't tweet; I don't have a Facebook page.

My grandma always said that God made libraries so that people didn't have any excuse to be stupid.

Now that I've reached the age where I need my children more than they need me, I really understand how grand it is to be a grandmother.

Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma, cause it's GRAND SALAMI TIME!

Grandma's on the front porch with a Bible in her hand, sometimes I hear her singing take me to the promised land.

My granddad used to say, If everybody liked the same thing, they'd all be after your grandma.

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first.

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.

Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

To Grandma: Once upon a time, there was a boy who flew.

My grandma would quote Abraham Lincoln all the time: "Whatever you do in life, be a good one."

As I learned from growing up, you don't mess with your grandmother.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for a few miles, and you start to smell smoke, and you turn around, and you look in the backseat, and grandma is playing with herself?

A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside.

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma.

Tangle me up like Grandma's yarn.

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

Dating is so insecure. My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me. I told her about it. I said, "Remember when your grandma died? I was there. Remember when you flunked out of school? I was there. Remember when you lost your job? I was there!" She said, "I know

My grandma used to plant tomato seedlings in tin cans from tomato sauce & puree & crushed tomatoes she got from the Italian restaurant by her house, but she always soaked the labels off first. I don't want them to be anxious about the future, she said. It's not healthy.

Carson is an old family name, though my grandma used to watch Johnny all the time and was crazy about him.

My great grandma always told me to drink a lot of milk because it's good for the skin.

Does Grandpa love to baby-sit his grandchildren? Are you kidding? By day he is too busy taking hormone shots at the doctor's or chip shots on the golf course. At night he and Grandma are too busy doing the cha-cha.

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