77 Great Simpsons Quotes To Inspire You

Following is our list of great simpsons quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about simpson.

The Most Famous Great Simpsons Quotes (Best in 2024)

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The Simpsons are going to Delaware! — Homer

That's what I love about sketch comedy: a sketch is five minutes, then it goes dark, and there's the potential for something else. — Jason Sudeikis

Comedians and impressionists used to be two different showbiz animals entirely, but now there's no such thing as a comedian who doesn't do impressions. — John Podhoretz

Where I live in Oklahoma, it's all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot tub back there, I may as well have Richard Simmons come over and live with me. — Blake Shelton

Bruno: "Why do you wear pajamas all day?" Shmuel: "The soldiers. They took all our clothes away." Bruno: "My dad's a soldier, but not the sort that takes people's clothes away." — John Boyne

Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family. — Homer

I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera. — John Mulaney

Some folks like to get away Take a holiday from the neighborhood. Hop a flight to Miami Beach Or to Hollywood But I'm talking a Greyhound On the Hudson River Line. I'm in a New York state of mind. — Billy Joel

I've been all over the world, and to be in Milan and see guys dressed as Jake and Elwood is amazing. They really have become a part of the culture. — John Landis

I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon. — Hannibal Buress

Short Great Simpsons Quotes

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  • Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. — Matt Groening
  • You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson — Matt Groening
  • It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame. — Oscar Wilde
  • First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. — Matt Groening
  • Homer no function beer well without. — Matt Groening
  • I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming. — Matt Groening
  • Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. — Matt Groening
  • Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals. — Arthur Mitchell
  • When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV! — Matt Groening
  • You can't handle the truth! — Jack Nicholson
Great simpsons quote Silence is a source of great strength.
Silence is a source of great strength.

Funniest Simpsons Quotes

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Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers. — Matt Groening

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. — Matt Groening

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something. — Matt Groening

Great simpsons quote Make today so awesome, yesterday gets jealous.
Make today so awesome, yesterday gets jealous.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button. — Matt Groening

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. — Dan Castellaneta

I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me. — Homer

Great simpsons quote Great minds discuss ideas.Average minds discuss events.Small minds discuss peopl
Great minds discuss ideas.Average minds discuss events.Small minds discuss people.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. — Matt Groening

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such. — Dan Castellaneta

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. — Homer

Art is what separates us from the animals. — Iimani David

Simpson Quotes

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OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?' — Norm MacDonald

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay! — Matt Groening

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. — Matt Groening

Great simpsons quote Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.
Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.

I'm kind of a dork. I don't have much game. I'm not particularly comfortable in bars or clubs. I much prefer being home playing Scrabble, having dinner with a couple friends, going to see a movie, or losing a whole weekend to Season 14 of Law and Order or The Simpsons. — Wentworth Miller

When the American people saw the LA riots and crowds of Blacks cheering O.J. Simpson (who was acquitted by the almost all Black jury), they received a peek into their future. — David Duke

Everything I know about pop culture I know from 'The Simpsons,' and they say the Grammys aren't very good. — Jonny Greenwood

Great simpsons quote Acknowledge all of your small victories. They will eventually add up to somethin
Acknowledge all of your small victories. They will eventually add up to something great.

The O.J. Simpson case, they had no understanding of that DNA evidence, and didn't want to. — Joseph Wambaugh

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell? — Dan Castellaneta

I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong. When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals' acts, and nobody is responsible for O. J. Simpson's acts, something is wrong. — Charlton Heston

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. — Matt Groening

People Writing About Great Simpsons

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Name Quotes Likes
Read quotes by Matt Groening

Matt Groening
quotes on life, education and politics

117 1030
Read quotes by Homer

Homer
quotes on love, death and war

508 2784
Read quotes by Jason Sudeikis

Jason Sudeikis
quotes on relationships, love and friendship

29 140
Read quotes by John Podhoretz

John Podhoretz
quotes on religion, education and war

83 257
Read quotes by Blake Shelton

Blake Shelton
quotes on life, guns

45 587
Read quotes by John Boyne

John Boyne
quotes on life, leadership and love

49 395

More Great Simpsons Quotes

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If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. — Homer

Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies. — Christopher Titus

But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman! — Homer

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff. — Matt Groening

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? — Matt Groening

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

I wish I could be as thin as Jessica Simpson. I think she looks gorgeous! I have had Jessica on my show several times, and I can tell you that girl is genuine and funny with a great self-deprecating sense of humor. — Sayings

We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? — Homer

When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off! — Homer

Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. — Homer

You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity. — Homer

And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. — Homer

I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. — Homer

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds...it makes ice. — Homer

'The Simpsons' appearances were great fun. But I don't take them too seriously. I think 'The Simpsons' have treated my disability responsibly. — Stephen Hawking

When you're trying to come up with an idea for a movie it's actually the hardest part - the germ of the idea. Inevitably you think of something that would be great and then discover that it was on an episode of The Simpsons. — Diablo Cody

There are countless times where you're trying to channel somebody who's not there, but that's what you have to do. But Audrey Geisel, who has executive produced this film and Horton, and who works remarkably close with me, is a great source of information. (The Simpsons creator) Matt Groening once told me that one of the most important roles that he fulfills on The Simpsons is being the keeper of the integrity of the original vision. — Christopher Meledandri

I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and the work that they do is really fantastic. It's a blast just to sit around with them in the writers' room and listen to all the filthy jokes that will never get on the air. — Matt Groening

Jenny Simpson loses her shoe in the women's fifteen hundred, with a lap and a half to go, destroying her chances to repeat as world champion, and she gives the most gracious interview afterward about how she's had a wonderful career already. Great for Jenny Simpson. Bad for the sport! We need drama! — Malcolm Gladwell

The early seasons of 'The Simpsons' had a great deal of heart. That's what I'm trying to pull from, the kind of stuff that goes straight to kids' hearts. When they're watching, they don't necessarily know why they love something. — Fred Seibert

In Conclusion

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