quote by Mark Twain

Names are not always what they seem.

— Mark Twain

Cheering Hitchhiking quotations

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.


If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

The one thing I miss is hitchhiking. Now there's no more of that. When's the last time you saw a hitchhiker? It's not that I consider it a great sport, but it was my way of seeing the country. The open road, especially in the western United States, is still very pristine, but everything else around it has changed.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

How many roads must a man walk down?


Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.

I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.

The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.


I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

I hitchhiked, took trucks 'n' trains - anything that would pick me up.

I stopped in Memphis for about six months and they found me and come got me. Stayed about a month an' split again.

Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.

Life! Don't talk to me about life!

Listen, three eyes," he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.


Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies.

When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking."

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.

It seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.

Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin. "And what happened?" pressed Ford. "It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.

Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.


The Beat Generation, that was a vision that we had, John Clellon Holmes and I, and Allen Ginsberg in an even wilder way, in the late forties, of a generation of crazy, illuminated hipsters suddenly rising and roaming America, serious, bumming and hitchhiking everywhere, ragged, beatific, beautiful in an ugly graceful new way.

Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning.

"...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..." "No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?" "Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens." "I can imagine.

God's Final Message to His Creation: 'We apologize for the inconvenience.

I'd far rather be happy than right any day.

Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.


When is the last time you saw a Lamborghini sale?

Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.

The "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" hitchhiker really made people never want to hitchhike again - the hitcher, the show. Hitchhiking is always vaguely sexual.

Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking.

And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.


This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time.

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.

Hitchhiking, intrinsically, is sexual and dangerous.

At the same time I never really felt scared. I was scared that nobody would pick me up and that I'd be waiting by the side of the road for a week.