When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.— Bill Watterson
Grateful Hobbes quotations
County library? Reference desk, please.
Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?
Bradman is a whole class above any batsman who has ever lived: if Archimedes, Newton and Gauss remain in the Hobbs class, I have to admit the possibility of a class above them, which I find difficult to imagine. They had better be moved from now on into the Bradman class.
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?
Hobbes: What are you doing? Calvin: Being "cool.
" Hobbes: You look more like you're being bored. Calvin: The world bores you when you're cool. Hobbes: Look, I brought a sombrero! Now we can both be "cool." Calvin: A sombrero?! Are you crazy?! Cool people don't wear sombreros! Hobbes: What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?
Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action.
Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
Stepping to me? Yo, that's the wrong move. So what you on, hobbs, dope or dog food?
If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?
Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life.
..procrastinating and rationalizing.
Calvin: They say the world is a stage.
But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
I've always just loved drawing and loved cartoons.
Growing up, I loved Disney films, I loved The Simpsons, and I was a big fan of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes and the way that they would have weird fantasy and then down-to-earth funny character comedy.
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure man needs the help.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
It's only work if somebody makes you do it.
I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
A snick by Jack Hobbs is a sort of disturbance of a cosmic orderliness.
Government is founded not on force, as was the theory of Hobbes;
nor on compact, as was the theory of Locke and of the revolution of 1688; nor on property, as was the assertion of Harrington. It springs from the necessities of our nature, and has an everlasting foundation in the unchangeable will of God.
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
The will to power, as the modern age from Hobbes to Nietzsche understood it, far from being a characteristic of the strong, is, like envy and greed, among the vices of the weak, and possibly even their most dangerous one. Power corrupts indeed when the weak band together in order to ruin the strong, but not before.
I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.
There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!