Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
— George Carlin
Blissful Idiotic quotations
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind.
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
My sister just had a baby, a little newborn.
The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby.
Anybody who doesn't have fear is an idiot.
It's just that you must make the fear work for you. Hell when somebody shot at me, it made me madder than hell, and all I wanted to do was shoot back.
The sign of intelligence is that you are constantly wondering.
Idiots are always dead sure about every damn thing they are doing in their life.
I've had great success being a total idiot.
Come the millennium, month 12, In the home of greatest power, The village idiot will come forth To be acclaimed the leader.
Man is an idiot. He doesn't know how to do anything without copying, without imitating, without plagiarizing, without aping. It might even have been that man invented generation by coitus after seeing the grasshopper copulate.
I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.
Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.
I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.
Think of a person of average intelligence, and then realise half of the fucking country is more stupid than that idiot.
If I decide to be an idiot, then I'll be an idiot on my own accord.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury; signifying nothing.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
Driving fast on the track does not scare me.
What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio.
The fight is no longer between the classes or between rich and poor but between the idiots and the eco-conscious.
Don't let the idiots that like to bring you down, succeed in discouraging you.
I let it get to me a while ago, and let me tell you, it feels SO good to come up under it!
Why could you smoke all of those cigarettes? It’s not like they are making you better… they are killing you. It seemed real idiotic to me.
And it's a human need to be told stories.
The more we're governed by idiots and have no control over our destinies, the more we need to tell stories to each other about who we are, why we are, where we come from, and what might be possible.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'.
Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.
From the naturalistic point of view, all men are equal.
There are only two exceptions to this rule of naturalistic equality: geniuses and idiots.
Religious and racial persecution is moronic at all times, perhaps the most idiotic of human stupidities.
I cannot recognise either the Palestinian state or the Israeli state.
The Palestinians are idiots and the Israelis are idiots.
Anyone who has declared someone else to be an idiot, a bad apple, is annoyed when it turns out in the end that he isn't.
Silverstream: You idiot!!! What are you doing in my territory??? Graystripe:.
..Drowning? Silverstream: Can't you do that in your own territory? Graystripe: Ah, but who would rescue me there?