Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

— Tre Cool

Irresistibly father jack quotes that are about simple jack

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

All work and no play makes jack. With enough jack, Jack needn't be a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate

If Jack Nicklaus can win the Masters at 46, I can win the Kentucky Derby at 54.

All work and no play doesn't just make Jill and Jack dull, it kills the potential of discovery, mastery, and openness to change and flexibility and it hinders innovation and invention.

Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Even the most Bush-happy, flag suckling jack-arse knows deep-down inside that something is wrong. America is over and everyone knows it. The New World Order has a dying empire odor and changing the channel ain't going to make this go away.

When I met Jack Kennedy, he was a serious young man with a dream.

He was not a womanizer, not as I understood the term.

Jack Kennedy always said to me, Hedy, get involved.

That's the secret of life. Try everything. Join everything. Meet everybody.

I only wanted Uncle Vernon standing by his own car (a Hudson) on a clear day, I got him and the car. Ialso got a bit of Aunt Mary’s laundry and Beau Jack, the dog, peeing on the fence, and a row of potted tuberous begonias on the porch and 78 trees and a million pebbles in the driveway and more. It’s a generous medium, photography.

Woods pumped both fists and yelled, as jacked as you'll ever see him.

But the crowd explosion drowned out whatever was coming out of his mouth. It was the closest golf has ever come to sounding like fourth-and-goal at LSU's Tiger Stadium on a Saturday night.

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'

The sermon was based on what he claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no Atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, "There's a Chaplain who never visited the front.

May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright, Of soft and golden hue, Pierce through the future's veil and show, What fate now holds for you?

No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature.

I knew Jack Kennedy; Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy.

There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper.

My eldest son, Jack, grew up with me as a 'part-time' dad.

Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.

The next night he asked Jonah if he could take $9.

49 out of Jonah's secret stash that only Danny and his mum and Jack knew about. Jonah kept it in his sock drawer next to a photograph of Jonah and a girl with sad eyes, taken in one of those railway station photo booths.

My hero in comic books is Jack Kirby: 'Spider-Man,' 'Fantastic Four,' 'Captain America,' Marvel Comics. He was really the basis for Marvel Comics.

I'm not a jack of all trades; I'm a master of many. I don't feel there is anything I can't do if I want to.

Rock and Roll's got to be like Jack Daniels. You've got to feel it burn.

Jack Bruce, as soon as I saw him, it changed me.

I didn't even know what bass players did until I saw Cream.

Jack & Jack - Jack & Jack are an American pop-rap duo from Omaha, Nebraska, consisting of Jack Johnson and Jack Gilinsky, based in Los Angeles, California. After success

Jack-Jack Attack - Jack-Jack Attack is a 2005 computer animated short film produced by Pixar and written and directed by Brad Bird. The film is a spin-off on his 2004 film

Jack Dempsey - William Harrison "Jack" Dempsey (June 24, 1895 – May 31, 1983), nicknamed Kid Blackie, and The Manassa Mauler, was an American professional boxer who competed

Jack Dorsey - Jack Patrick Dorsey (born November 19, 1976) is an American computer programmer and Internet entrepreneur who is the co-founder and CEO of Twitter, and

Jack the Ripper - Jack the Ripper was an unidentified serial killer active in the largely impoverished areas in and around the Whitechapel district of London in 1888. In

Jack Johnson - American pop-rap duo Jack & Jack Big Jack Johnson (1940–2011), blues musician Jack Johnson (actor) (born 1987), American actor Jack Johnson (film), a 1970

Alister Jack - Alister William Jack (born 7 July 1963) is a Scottish politician serving as Secretary of State for Scotland since 2019. A member of the Conservative Party

Colby-Jack - Colby-Jack, or Co-jack/Cojack, is a cheese produced from a mixture of Colby and Monterey Jack cheeses. It is generally sold in a full-moon or a half-moon

Wolfman Jack - Robert Weston Smith, known as Wolfman Jack (January 21, 1938 – July 1, 1995), was an American disc jockey. Famous for his gravelly voice, he credited it

My son Jack just got out of rehab, he's 17 years old and he got hooked on Oxycontin and I'm just a little pissed off that he never gave me a few.

All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.

I've had a pretty good lesson in human nature.

It's more important to try to surround yourself with people who can give you a little happiness, because you only pass through this life once, Jack. You don't come back for an encore.

Shoot eagles on the Jack Nicklaus course, Porsche with the triple exhaust, Seats soft like a midget's cough.

I'm gonna hunker down like a jack rabbit in a dust storm

Like a large number of men, I, too, have had homosexual experiences and I am not ashamed. But if there is someone who is convinced that Jack Nicholson and I are lovers, may they continue to do so. I find it amusing.

Let me say for the record, I am not a gangster and never have been.

I'm not the thief who grabs your purse. I'm not the guy who jacks your car. I'm not down with people who steal and hurt others. I'm just a brother who fights back. I'm not some violent closet psycho. I've got a job. I'm an artist.

Runs falls rises stumbles on from darkness into darkness and the darkness thicketed with shapes of terror and the hunters pursuing and the hounds pursuing and the night cold and the night long and the river to cross and the jack-muh-lanterns beckoning beckoning and blackness ahead

I know you're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks, but there ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box.