If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possible can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.
— Kurt Vonnegut

You will get good attention and people will be more inclined to listen to you if you can make a statement whereby their response is, No Shit! or at least, No kidding!
Gael Boardman kidding quote

Those who have succeeded at anything and don't mention luck are kidding themselves.
— Larry King

I knew that we were clicking when mimics started kidding my voice, I'll know that I'm on the way out when they stop doing their imitations.
— Vaughn Monroe

I'm the guy who wrote The Authority Song. Did they think I was kidding? Did they think it was only a song to entertain?
— John Mellencamp