The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.— Sigmund Freud
Glamorous Masturbation quotations
My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer.
That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.
In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best.
But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.
Physics is to mathematics what sex is to masturbation.
Love is what makes sex more than masturbation.
If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner.
We can learn to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about gay people.
The same way we have learned to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about shellfish, about slavery, about dinner, about farming, about menstruation, about virginity, about masturbation.
I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating
I've masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours... it hurts... it's going to fall off.
The war against illegal file-sharing is like the church's age-old war against masturbation. It's a war you just can't win.
We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.
Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind.
In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure.
Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.
Masturbation never got anybody pregnant, does not make anybody go crazy, and what we're about is preventing HIV in our bright young people.
Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.
I knew a girl named Nikki I guess u could say she was a sex fiend I met her in a hotel lobby Masturbating with a magazine She said "how'd u like 2 waste some time?" And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind.
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a hint: one of 'em is super illegal.
I'm very romantic when I masturbate. Sometimes I light a candle...then I try and shoot it out. It's like a carnival.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.
Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
Stars today are just masturbation images.
Every time you open the paper now, there seems to be another celebrity getting arrest for masturbation. First, it was Peewee Herman and then George Michael. If masturbation's a crime, I should be on death row.
I think that there's nothing wrong with masturbation.
If you're not feeling good about your own sexuality and your own body, you're not going to feel good about anything else.
Masturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that's inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest of our lives.
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
It is called in our schools 'beastliness', and this is about the best name for it... should it become a habit it quickly destroys both health and spirits; he becomes feeble in body and mind, and often ends in a lunatic asylum.
I can imagine you touching my private parts.
With just the thought of you I can't help, but touch myself.
Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.
Self improvement is masturbation.
Masturbation is a democratic pleasure, practiced by rich and poor, young and old, married and single.
No matter what your race, creed or sexual preference, there is a word that people use to describe you that is very nasty. It's what we all have in common. That, and masturbation.