quote by Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore. When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Inspiring My Dad quotations

My dad quote My poor dad said, 'You need to know a lot about one speciality.' My rich dad sai

My poor dad said, 'You need to know a lot about one speciality.' My rich dad said, 'You need to learn a little about a lot of things.'

Children desperately need to know - and to hear in ways they understand and remember - that they're loved and valued by mom and dad.

When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.

I probably have an earlier curfew than anyone.

My mom wants to keep me really safe and my dad's not overly protective, but he's a dad no matter what.

All my money is in a savings account.

My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?

My dad is like a cactus - introverted and tough.

I'm a people person, like my mom, but I got my competitiveness from my dad. He came to this country from Belarus with nothing and built a real business. He's my hero for giving me that need to run a business and for having enormous confidence in me.

Never love anything that can't love you back.

My dad's probably one of the kindest people in the world.

When I was younger that's not how I was- I was a little spoiled brat.

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

It is good to be Compared with the best player [Pele].

But my dad told me about Garrincha's style as he moved forward, went up, attacked and dribbled. Garrincha's style is more similar to Neymar's.

My daddy, he was somewhere between God and John Wayne.

My mom keeps me going, man. She deserves such a good life. I just wanna give it to her. My dad, too. My family, my friends, they keep me motivated. Just knowing my personal legend, just knowing what I'm supposed to do, that keeps me going.

For me, growing up, the downside of it was that as a kid you don't want to stand out. You don't want to have a famous father let alone get a job because of your famous father, you know? But I'm a product of nepotism. That's how I got my foot in the door, through my dad.

As much as I transferred my mother to Elizabeth Shore of The Black Dahlia, as much as her dad mutated into an obsession with crime in general, well, I have thought about other things throughout the years.

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.

Bruno: "Why do you wear pajamas all day?" Shmuel: "The soldiers.

They took all our clothes away." Bruno: "My dad's a soldier, but not the sort that takes people's clothes away."

I couldn't be a cameraman or a designer or an actor - I have to be a director because I learned how to do that from my dad.

My dad used to say to me, 'You look more like me than I do.'

Performing at my best is important to me and should be to everyone.

I am blessed that my dad is a chiropractor. Getting adjusted regularly - along with practicing other good health habits that my mom helped me to establish - are all part of my goal to win in life and on the field.

My father was the most rational and the most dispassionate of men.

When I was in nursery school, the teachers asked me, y'know, 'What does your dad do for a living?' So I said 'He helps women get pregnant!' They called my mom and they were like, 'What exactly does your husband do?'

They made it to the middle class, my dad working as a bartender and my mother as a cashier and a maid. I didn't inherit any money from them. But I inherited something far better - the real opportunity to accomplish my dreams.

I am the granddaughter of a Welsh coal miner who was determined that his kids get out of the mines. My dad got his first job when he was six years old, in a little village in Wales called Nantyffyllon, cleaning bottles at the Colliers Arms.

My dad's a doctor, and when I was 8, I went to one of his medical conferences where they were demonstrating laser surgery on a chicken. I was so mad that a chicken had to die, I never ate meat again.

I started out mopping floors, waiting tables, and tending bar at my dad's tavern. I put myself through school working odd jobs and night shifts. I poured my heart and soul into a small business. And when I saw how out-of-touch Washington had become with the core values of this great nation, I put my name forward and ran for office.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

When you get in taekwondo, it teaches you the life skills of respect, self control, discipline-that's why I love it. I really attribute those skills to really getting over my dad's death. If I didn't have that, I would have lost it.

When I was a little boy, I told my dad, 'When I grow up, I want to be a musician.' My dad said: 'You can't do both, Son'.

I just went off for two months traveling around Europe on a motorcycle and pretty much turned my phone off. I did 5,000 miles with my dad. We went through Holland, Germany, Austria, Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia, Montenegro, Italy... and then I did Spain and France by myself.

I grew up watching Monday Night Football with Howard Cosell and the other guys with my dad.

It was my father who taught me to value myself.

My Dad was so open creatively that I was off in search of black turtleneck bathing suits with long sleeves.

My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn't have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don't be afraid to fail.

My first outdoor cooking memories are full of erratic British summers, Dad swearing at a barbecue that he couldn't put together, and eventually eating charred sausages, feeling brilliant.

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