139 My Girlfriend Quotes To Inspire You

Following is our list of my girlfriend quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about will you be my girlfriend.

My girlfriend quote
Inspirational my girlfriend quote

The Most Famous My Girlfriend Quotes (Best in 2024)

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My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend. — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend. — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. — Emo Philips

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?" — Jimmy Carr

I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything. — F. Scott Fitzgerald

My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you? — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. — Jay London

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian. — Jimmy Carr

You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary. — Daniel Tosh

My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep. — Anthony Jeselnik

Short My Girlfriend Quotes

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  • You are the best thing that's ever been mine. — Taylor Swift
  • We're getting ready to take over the world. My group of girlfriends - we're renegades. — Lisa Bonet
  • A girlfriend? No thanks, I'd rather play nintendo and build my lego set! — Zac Hanson
  • I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it. — Anthony Jeselnik
  • I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14. — Anthony Jeselnik
  • My girlfriend asked me if I only love her for her body. I said no, baby. Just parts of it. — Anthony Jeselnik
  • I do love playing games, but once I have a girlfriend, she will be my princess. — Cho Kyuhyun
  • My girlfriend said, Emo, I'm seeing another man. I said, Well, try rubbing your eyes or something. — Emo Philips
  • George Eliot is my only steady girlfriend. We go to bed together every night. — Peter O'Toole
  • I change my mind so much I need two boyfriends and a girlfriend. — Pink

Top 10 My Girlfriend Quotes

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My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time. — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend. — Anthony Jeselnik

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool. — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend. — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep. — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. — Emo Philips

You are the best thing that's ever been mine. — Taylor Swift

My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest. — Layne Staley

You know, the man of my dreams might walk round the corner tomorrow. I'm older and wiser and I think I'd make a great girlfriend. I live in the realm of romantic possibility. — Stevie Nicks

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' — Steven Wright

My Girlfriend Image Quotes

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I Want You To Be My Girlfriend Quotes

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You want to take me to a movie?" I asked. "Well, not really," he said. "What I really want is for you to be my girlfriend. But I thought saying that might scare you off. — Sarah Dessen

Actually my relationships with my girlfriends have become that much deeper and more profound, because I'm like, huh, yeah, I don't have to judge you, or you judge me. It was a lot of - I didn't want to be that crazy girlfriend. — Zoe Bell

I used to hate being different. I used to cry. I wanted to be blonde-haired and blue-eyed like all of my girlfriends. My mom and dad would feel so badly - 'No, it's OK. You'll be happy you're different later. — Kiana Tom

'You claim to be the man, you want me for a lover, So you can do my girlfriends and my sister and my mother?' I said, 'You're very blunt,' with quickness to the cue, 'So whassup with your mother, does she look as good as you?' — Dres

Your Girlfriend Quotes

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I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could just by pressing her follow button. — Harry Styles

When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’. — Drake

Going to radio with a rap record prior to going to the consumer is like having no foreplay with your girlfriend. — Lyor Cohen

Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don't all look like Bella Abzug. — Phyllis Schlafly

Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring. If they're the ones that tell you that you do the right thing. — Drake

Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago! — Greg Giraldo

It's amazing how people can sound like retards when they're talking to their girlfriend, especially if they really love her a lot. Because when you're just fucking someone you make a point of keeping your cool, but when you're really in love - it can sound pretty repulsive. — Etgar Keret

Wives, girlfriends, fiancees - clean out your closets. I'm cleaning out my old bell bottoms. We can touch millions. — Deion Sanders

A single girlfriend can play an important role in success of your career but a bunch of girlfriends can seriously ruins your successful life. — Wiz Khalifa

When you're a teenager, you want to meet a lot of girls - you want to get the most girls. You don't know anything about respect; you don't know anything about being faithful and loyal to your girlfriend. — Nas

I Love My Girlfriend Quotes

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I have one good girlfriend and then most of my friends are guys. Which I love, because they're just like so easygoing and I love to play like Xbox and just chill out when I'm not working, so boys are probably the way to go for me. — Ashley Benson

I love perfumes. Every morning when my girlfriend and I come down to the courtyard in our block of flats we're assailed by the most delicious scent - jasmine round a doorway. It almost makes me swoon. — Alan Rickman

I do not love you-except because I love you; I go from loving to not loving you, from waiting to not waiting for you my heart moves from the cold into the fire. — Pablo Neruda

My girlfriend said: 'If you loved me you wouldn't drink so much', I said: 'If I didn't drink so much I probably wouldn't love you'. — Gary Mule Deer

My girlfriend and I never let each other forget how much we love each other. It's all about reminding the other person how important and special she is to you. — Tyler Hoechlin

I used to try to draw my girlfriends. I think one of the most romantic things that anybody can do is draw a portrait of the person you love. — Nick Carter

I'm so in love with the United States. Not as a patriot. I'm in love with America like it's my first girlfriend. The geography, the people, the smell, the touch, the taste, the gas stations. I'm madly in love with America. — Vincent Gallo

I don't know if I'm a Twitter addict. That seems kind of harsh. I would say it's more that I'm seriously involved. That it's a long-term relationship - like a girlfriend, which my actual girlfriend loves to hear. — Chris Hardwick

I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is. — Gina Gershon

And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you. — Collin Raye

New Girlfriend Quotes

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Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair. — Emo Philips

Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly. — Robert Harling

My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long. — Mitch Hedberg

Anyone who has ever scanned the bookshelves of a new girlfriend or boyfriend- or peeked inside his or her medicine cabinet- understands this implicitly; you can learn as much - or more - from one glance at a private space as you can from hours of exposure to a public face. — Malcolm Gladwell

Leaving America is like losing twenty pounds and finding a new girlfriend. — Phil Ochs

Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new boss asked her was if she could make a good cup of coffee... Yeah, she stormed right out of that Starbucks. — Carol Leifer

I left my parents' home when I was 22, I moved to New York with my ex-girlfriend. We did a film together with Raul Julia. — Demian Bichir

My girlfriend Siri is a food blogger, and we both love to entertain and eat. This is what happens when you're in your thirties: what was once a passion and real appetite for nightlife in New York City manifests itself into other things, like entertaining at home. — Carson Daly

Just having women come up to me and say they love the workout series, and that they have it and have guys come up and say, "I bought it for my girlfriend and she loves it." I feel really lucky and have gratitude for that, and now I get to put out a new series so I'm very happy. — Carmen Electra

While watching the New Orleans Saints (on television), I got angry and punched my bed, and then my remote control flew up and hit me in the head. My girlfriend didn't stop laughing for an hour. — Shane West

Girlfriend Quotes

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Life without you is like a broken pencil, there's no point. — Tyga

The average person is either a weakling, or just a happy person who wants to get along, or thinks being tough is having big muscles and strutting around town and having a good-looking girlfriend. — Alex Jones

I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic. — Anthony Jeselnik

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox. — Anthony Jeselnik

I want to fall in love, I think. I've never. I know. Everyone I know's been in love or in relationships now and... There's only ever been... there's been people telling me they love me, but it freaks me out and I just run, run. I think I'm a bad girlfriend. — Cara Delevingne

I say 'cuz' around Bloods, and I say 'blood' around Crips...I'm twisted. Got Mary, got Lucy, got Molly: that's wifey, girlfriend and mistress. — Ab-Soul

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. — Steven Wright

Tell me who you are with and I will tell you who you are — Mexican Proverbs

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends. — Orson Welles

We are constantly protecting the male ego, and it's a disservice to men. If a man has any sensitivity or intelligence, he wants to get the straight scoop from his girlfriend. — Betty Dodson

My Girl Quotes

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My body is very different from most of the dancers I dance with. My hair is different than most I dance with. But I didn't let that stop me. Black girls rock and can be ballerinas. — Misty Copeland

If a girl wears a shirt and a skirt, does she become more sensuous? I think a girl in a sari is more sensuous than a girl in a skirt. In my opinion, a wet sari is the most sensuous. — Bipasha Basu

You ready? I have gold teeth, I have braids, I'm wearing Rick Owens moon boots, I have rips in my denim, a biker vest, I love artsy girls, my favourite artists are Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon. I'm obsessed with being different. — ASAP Rocky

I believe in a world of justice and human rights for all. A world where girls can grow up free of fear of abuse. A world where women are treated with the respect and dignity that is their right. A world where poverty is not acceptable. My dear young friends, you can make this your world. — Ban Ki-moon

I like Dancing of Indian girls more than my parents' prayers . Because they dance with love and passion . But my parents just say their prayers because they got used to it . — Ali Shariati

I don't want you to praise me...Some praise me because I am a colored girl, and I don't want that kind of praise. I had rather you would point out my defects, for that will teach me something. — Edmonia Lewis

My purpose... to go on with my heart and soul, devoting all my energies to Girl Scouts, and heart and hand with them, we will make our lives and the lives of the future girls happy, healthy and holy. — Juliette Gordon Low

Only one girl has ever really wrapped my stomach into pretzels. She didn’t give me butterflies. She gave me pterodactyls I’m talking terrible internal bruising and the first time I kissed her was like the first time I saw fireworks, which was like the sky first kissing me in the eyeballs — George Watsky

Like most girls I'm always really self-conscious about do I look fat, if my legs are short, if I'm weird shaped, but when I go on stage, man, it never occurs to me. I think I look beautiful. — Janis Joplin

Never love anything that can't love you back. — Bruce Williams

Good Girlfriend Quotes

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I ask a lot because I'm very curious - especially about ex-girlfriends. I'm pretty good at getting the answers, too. — Brittany Murphy

Everything which is good in life is dicey, including pretty girls. — Rakesh Jhunjhunwala

Ronda is the place where to go, if you are planning to travel to Spain for a honeymoon or for being with a girlfriend. The whole city and its surroundings are a romantic set. ... Nice promenades, good wine, excellent food, nothing to do. — Ernest Hemingway

I would date a fan, I dont have a problem with that. I look for a good sense of humour in a girlfriend. — Rupert Grint

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good. — Zach Galifianakis

If there's friends around, I'll cook. Or if I have a girlfriend. But on my own I kind of fell out of the habit of it, and it's a shame really because I know it's good for me. It's something quite therapeutic. — Michael Fassbender

I couldn't feel good about myself hanging out in Armani clothes when my girlfriend can't even pay her heating bill. I'd feel foul and I'd be embarrassed. — Shirley Manson

Steadman! Any guy that's got Oprah as a girlfriend, I mean that's a good dude. I want to talk to him. — Billy Bush

I fantasize about going back to high school with the knowledge I have now. I would shine. I would have a good time, I would have a girlfriend. I think that's where a lot of my pain comes from. I think I never had any teenage years to go back to. — Spalding Gray

I think I'd make a pretty good girlfriend. — Vanessa Hudgens

People Writing About My Girlfriend

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Name Quotes Likes
Read quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

Anthony Jeselnik

196 4474
Read quotes by Emo Philips

Emo Philips
quotes on life, love

204 3021
Read quotes by Jimmy Carr

Jimmy Carr
quotes on leadership, culture and education

95 718
Read quotes by Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift
quotes on friendship, love and feminism

884 4344
Read quotes by F. Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald
quotes on love, death and american dream

698 8587
Read quotes by Jay London

Jay London
quotes on education, culture and love

38 289

More My Girlfriend Quotes

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My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore. When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head. — Anthony Jeselnik

Every night, my girlfriend comes home from work, and she brings with her a houseplant. She's like, 'Anthony, I had to pick this up. We need a houseplant in our apartment.' And every night, I make her return it. I say, 'No way, baby. You can't take care of a houseplant. You couldn't even keep your baby alive.' — Anthony Jeselnik

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!' — Emo Philips

My girlfriend tells me if I'm doing a movie I'm a roller coaster of emotions all the time, but on "Boardwalk," because I've done it for so long and I'm so in tune with the character, she says I'm pretty happy most of the time. — Jack Huston

I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though. — Anthony Jeselnik

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . . — Jackie Mason

I did an interview once where I was asked who I found attractive and I went on about cartoons and Nala from 'The Lion King' - and it's a bit weird but various of my ex-girlfriends actually did look like Nala. — Eddie Redmayne

I learned hard lessons in life; I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died. — Bernie Mac

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show. — Adam Sandler

I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him. — Emo Philips

It's important for me to treat a girlfriend with respect. My mum would be horrified if I behaved any differently - and I have sisters, and would hate for them to be treated badly by guys. — Louis Tomlinson

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.' — Anthony Jeselnik

I have a girlfriend. I give my heart to her. She's around, she's everywhere, we travel together. She's beautiful, she's gorgeous, she's everything you want in a woman. She doesn't complain.. but I can tune her out just enough. — The Miz

Shah Rukh is not my girlfriend that I should remember him. When I don't remember my past girlfriends, what will I remember Shah Rukh for? — Salman Khan

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat. — Jimmy Carr

My rule is you want someone whos got both feet on the ground. An ideal girlfriend might be someone who works in the business and can understand what youre going through but is not an actor themselves - is willing to run lines with you but when you start acting crazy, they throw up their hands and take you for what you are and be accepting. — Wentworth Miller

My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid...and her nose was shot off by French soldiers. — Emo Philips

You know when I feel inwardly beautiful? When I am with my girlfriends and we are having a 'goddess circle'. — Jennifer Aniston

I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito. — Mitch Hedberg

In Conclusion

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