quote by Anthony Jeselnik

Yeah we're not together anymore. She has got - she has got a new boyfriend now. They just moved into together. And I've heard rumors that he is abusive, which makes you want to go over there with a baseball bat. And then blame it on her boyfriend.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Empowering New Boyfriend quotations

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.


New boyfriend quote New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.
New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.

My style during the day is very casual - boyfriend jeans, T-shirts, Converse, Uggs, whatever. At night, I love heels and thigh-highs, I like something fresh and new, and I'm not afraid to push the envelope.

New boyfriend quote When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.
When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.
Meaningful New boyfriend quotes
Visualise all those meaningful new boyfriend quotes

So dear I love him, that with him, all deaths I could endure, without him, live no life.

The craziest thing I've done getting over love is skydiving.

I had a really upsetting breakup. When I broke up with my boyfriend I needed to like do something different and so I actually went skydiving to turn over a new page.

Anyone who has ever scanned the bookshelves of a new girlfriend or boyfriend- or peeked inside his or her medicine cabinet- understands this implicitly; you can learn as much - or more - from one glance at a private space as you can from hours of exposure to a public face.


New boyfriend quote If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.
If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

Otherwise, I spend a lot of time at my boyfriend's home in the country, in New Jersey.

My Macbook is my new boyfriend, except that he's dependable and meets all my demands.

Hello, I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind.

If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman.

New boyfriend quote I am always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it.
I am always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it.

The character is everything that I felt really strongly against - she's superficial, materialistic, vain, amoral. She's all of these things, and I realised that I really hated her. How do you play someone that you hate? But I found it really interesting and it gave me a whole new insight into what my job, or my role as an actress, could be.

Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after that, everybody. Every woman in here got intimidated by a guy, pushed around too much, now you're new boyfriend tickles you a little too hard, boom restraining order. Every guy here had a woman sleep with his best friend, now your new girlfriend hugs your cousin a little long, boom car bomb.


New York is breaking my heart. I’ve often said that it’s like having a really interesting boyfriend suddenly becoming really, really into wine, and having to have endless conversations about it.

New boyfriend quote If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.
If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

I went from being married to living on my own in L.

A., to having a new boyfriend and just being totally self-sufficient and super independent. It's awesome. I love it!

I never really liked the lyrics or the sameness of the music.

It always seemed to have the same rhythm or whatever. But when it turned a little more rock, I kind of liked it. I like what Kid Rock did to country. I like all the modern, new stuff that's coming out, and it just so happens that my boyfriend is not a country player, but he was a rock musician.

I go to social media, check out my granddaughter's new boyfriend, but the Department of Homeland Security can't figure out they need to be tracking they jihadi web sites?

New boyfriend quote You can learn something new everyday if you listen.
You can learn something new everyday if you listen.

If you had a man when I was your friend and then we started hooking up and you broke up with your boyfriend, so now we're together and you have a new male friend? I'm going to look at you sideways because your character's horrible and now I'm thinking you're going to do to me what you did to your ex.


I grew up in New Jersey in the '80s. That means one thing: Big hair. ... I had big hair, my boyfriends had big hair, we all had big hair. Our prom looked like the poodle division of the Westminster dog show.

I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal.

New boyfriend quote Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new strategy.

We are all born with a rut radar. Mine is finely wired, a little oversensitive maybe. Perhaps just a bit hyperactive. Twenty steady boyfriends before turning 16, a new best friend 12 times a year, switched college majors every time I met someone who seemed exactly like the sort of person I really, really wanted to be. I'm not fickle. I'm just never there yet.

When I'm in New York my boyfriend buys me sneakers and vice versa.

It's so funny, because when I was growing up in a small town in New Hampshire, I was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio - from the 'Growing Pains'/'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' era, because he was superhot - and I carried a laminated photo of him in my wallet and said he was my boyfriend. But no one believed me.


New boyfriend quote Anyone who knows me, should learn to know me again; for I am like the moon, you
Anyone who knows me, should learn to know me again; for I am like the moon, you will see me with a new face everyday.

My new Boyfriend! Mr. Marmoset Hard and Silent! #peopledontknowthings

I didn't drink in the essence of the classroom.

I didn't take legible notes or dance all night. I thought I would marry my boyfriend and grow old and sick of him. I thought I would keep my friends, and we'd make different, new memories. None of that happened. Better things happened.

The hot gossip in Washington is that Condoleezza Rice might have a new boyfriend. Secretary of State Rice is being linked to Canada's Foreign Minister, Peter MacKay. It's gotta be awkward dating a fellow diplomat. Like today, MacKay had to promise Condi he would get permission from the U.N. before he invaded her.

New boyfriend quote If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.
If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.

It's [her new house] kind of like my relationship.

I'm like nurturing it and like spending a lot of time there and making sure that everything is perfect. It's like my new boyfriend.

Dante said, “I tried talking Nora into a ride, but she keeps blowing me off.

” “That’s because she has a hard-A boyfriend. He must have been homeschooled, because he missed all those valuable lessons we learned in kindergarten, like sharing. He finds out you took Nora for a ride, he’ll wrap this shiny new Porsche around the nearest tree.


He was my first boyfriend, and I made him my everything - he was my new life, my new love, my new compass point. I guess that's the danger with firsts - you lose all sense of proportion.

New boyfriend quote If your friends don't push you to be your best, you need new ones.
If your friends don't push you to be your best, you need new ones.

Darling Daddy, This is Rose. The shed needs new wires now it has blown up. Caddy is bringing home rock-bottom boyfriends to see if they will do for Mummy. Instead of you. Love, Rose.

It was moving, but so absurd that I nearly laughed out loud.

I imagined a new line of Hallmark cards: "Thank you for not killing my boyfriend, even if it risks killing you.

It was February sixth: eight days until Valentine's Day.

I was dateless, as usual, deep in the vice grip of unrequited love. It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids in their windows by January second to rub it in.

New boyfriend quote Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the sh
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Why did everyone think I needed a new boyfriend? I didn't need a new boyfriend.

I'd had enough of boyfriends to last a lifetime. The only thing a boyfriend was good for was a shattered heart.


You love new boyfriend?" "I think so. Yes." "Then you must spoil him. And he must spoil you.

(The new boyfriend) knows I write every day for hours but has no idea that all I’m writing about is me. It seems wiser to let him think I’m an aspiring novelist instead of just an alcoholic with a year of sobriety who spends eight hours a day writing about the other 16.