quote by George Burns

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

— George Burns

Fulfilling Obituary quotations

The savage repression of blacks, which can be estimated by reading the obituary columns of the nation's dailies, Fred Hampton, etc., has not failed to register on the black inmates.

It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.

Read obituaries. They are just like biographies, only shorter. They remind us that interesting, successful people rarely lead orderly, linear lives.

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

There's no such thing as bad publicity.

Live so that when the final summons comes you will leave something more behind you than an epitaph on a tombstone or an obituary in a newspaper.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper.

Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

Men in the uniform of Wall Street retirement: black Chesterfield coat, rimless glasses and the Times folded to the obituary page.

Just make it (his obituary): born in Russia, first lesson at 3, debut at 7, debut in America in 1917.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Hang onto your sense of humor. I picture my obituary : The sexiest man alive is now dead.

One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping.

Never was it [Capitalism] imposed on life as a system, or at all.

It grew out of life, not all at once but gradually, and is therefore one of the great natural designs. When it was found and identified by such men as Adam Smith, who wrote its bible, and Karl Marx, who wrote its obituary too soon, it was already working.

I always wondered what hearing one's own obituary might sound like, and I sort of feel like I may have just heard part of it at least.

So what if someone wrote your obituary... that doesn't mean you are obligated to die.

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.

When other helpers fail and comforts flee, when the senses decay and the mind moves in a narrower and narrower circle, when the grasshopper is a burden and the postman brings no letters, and even the Royal Family is no longer quite what it was, an obituary column stands fast.

It's sad that grandkids show up at the end of obituaries, way behind the list of work place achievements, social clubs and survivors. Why last? If you've got grandkids, you know they're first when it comes to the joy in your life.

I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure.

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.

I watched the coral reefs that I studied as a student vanish in the blink of an eye, and for decades I wrote and spoke of ocean obituaries. But big scary problems without solutions lead to apathy, not action.

I scrolled on down to the obituaries.

I usually read the obituaries first as there is always the happy chance that one of them will make my day.

A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.

women are quoted as sources and appear on interview shows much less frequently than men. ... But the by-product of such anonymity may be immortality, for women are also less likely to find themselves written up on the obituary page.

We're all killers at heart . . . . I have never taken anybody's life, but I have often read obituary notices with considerable satisfaction.

Biography is a very definite region bounded on the north by history, on the south by fiction, on the east by obituary, and on the west by tedium.

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

We shall see later on that the diversity of the forms of death that circulate invisibly is the cause of the peculiar unexpectedness of obituary notices in the newspapers.

Everybody is a potential murderer. I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.

There's no bad publicity except an obituary.

You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries.

They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?"