I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.— Roddy Piper
Mouth-watering Old Lady quotations
Live your life. Take chances. Be crazy. Don't wait. Because right now is the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever be again.
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
I am not Christ or a philanthropist, old lady, I am all the contrary of a Christ I fight for the things I believe in, with all the weapons at my disposal and try to leave the other man dead so that I don't get nailed to a cross or any other place.
Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.
Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I'm on a horse.
... to say that the CIA and the KGB engage in similar practices is the equivalent of saying that the man who pushes an old lady into the path of a hurtling bus is not to be distinguished from the man who pushes an old lady out of the path of a hurtling bus: on the grounds that, after all, in both cases someone is pushing old ladies around.
Hair extensions and wigs are not the same thing.
Wigs are for old ladies and drag queens. Extensions are for women who want longer hair. To be safe, never bring it up if you think a woman is wearing either. No good comes of it.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.
I'm going to die very soon. Before my 21st birthday. I won't live to be 21. I'm never going to be old. I don't ever want to be ugly and old. I'm an old lady now anyhow. I'm 80. There's nothing left. I've already lived a whole lifetime. I'm going out. In a blaze of glory.
I'm as wicked as Hitler's first born, cause of me, lot of old ladies purses gone.
No contact with savage Indian tribes has ever daunted me more than the morning I spent with an old lady swathed in woolies who compared herself to a rotten herring encased in a block of ice.
If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.
If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.
The Big L was cold crazy, A top-notch crook snatchin pocket books from old ladies
Shabazz led chants of ‘death to Israel,’ ‘the white man is the devil,’ and ‘Jihad.’ He also said, ‘Kill every goddamn Zionist in Israel! Goddamn little babies, goddamn old ladies! Blow up Zionist supermarkets!’
Old days won't open new doors.
Pure entertainment is not an egotistical lady singing boring songs onstage for two hours and people in tuxes clapping whether they like it or not. It's the real performers on the street who can hold people's attention and keep them from walking away.
I should think that being my old lady would be all the satisfaction or career any woman needs.
Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.
Old ways won't open new doors.
If by the time we're sixty we haven't learned what a knot of paradox and contradiction life is, and how exquisitely the good and the bad are mingled in every action we take, and what a compromising hostess Our Lady of Truth is, we haven't grown old to much purpose.
A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.
I am for an art that tells you the time of day, or where such and such a street is. I am for an art that helps old ladies across the street.
Some old-fashioned things like fresh air and sunshine are hard to beat.
The batsman's technique was like an old lady poking her umbrella at a wasp's nest.
Besides, when you say you're a feminist it annoys the bigots and the old farts and the prissy ladies so much, it's kind of irresistible.
One immense old lady has a family of lively young crocodiles running over her, evidently playing like a lot of kittens. The heavy musky smell they give off is most repulsive, but we do not rise up and make a row about this, because we feel hopelessly in the wrong in intruding into these family scenes uninvited.
Fight me if you wish, but remember I am old for a reason.
For the May Day is the great day, Sung along the old straight track.
And those who ancient lines did ley Will heed this song that calls them back... Pass the cup, and pass the Lady, And pass the plate to all who hunger, Pass the wit of ancient wisdom, Pass the cup of crimson wonder.
Appreciating old wine is like making love to a very old lady.
It is possible. It can even be enjoyable. But it requires a bit of imagination.
I think I'm the only 65-year-old actress in Los Angeles who hasn't had plastic surgery, so somebody's gotta play the old-lady parts!
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life
Every year white people add 100 years to how long ago slavery was.
I've heard educated white people say, 'slavery was 400 years ago.' No it very wasn't. It was 140 years ago...that's two 70-year-old ladies living and dying back to back. That's how recently you could buy a guy.
I was in handcuffs. I was under arrest. I remember there was this old lady looking at me, and I could tell she felt real sorry for me, and she did'nt know but all I wanted to do was take her purse.
Usually, old ladies tell me to find Jesus.
Look, I'm just trying to find some chai and a good vegan muffin.
You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream.
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
My daughter was asked by a little old lady in a London hotel restaurant what her daddy did. She answered, “He’s a pirate” - I was very proud of that answer.
I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars.
Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
While some who downplay Christ's divinity have imagined Jesus as a great social worker 'being kind to old ladies, small dogs and little children,' orthodox Christianity has not wanted Jesus to have a political message.
I'm not a crazy old cat lady!
History, that excitable and unreliable old lady.
I don't want to be a rock star all my life.
I couldn't bear to end up like Elvis Presley in Las Vegas with all those housewives and old ladies coming in with their handbags.
Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.