The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.— Will Rogers
Unbelievable Practical Joke quotations
Sweat more in practice, bleed less in war.
Nobody was perfect. Not even close. And everybody had wrinkles from smiling and squinting and craining their necks. Everybody has marks on their bodies from years of living- a trail of life left on them. Evidence of all the adventures and sleepless nights and practical jokes and heartbreaks that had made them who they are.
Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.
The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle!
In all the works on pedagogy that ever I read — and they have been many, big, and heavy — I don't remember that any one has advocated a system of teaching by practical jokes, mostly cruel. That, however, describes the method of our great teacher, Experience.
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen.
Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
I had a healthy curiosity and would try things on - play lots of practical jokes. But it was more in my head - fantasies of "What would happen if...? Like what would happen in class if you took all your clothes off and you ran around the room?
We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.
The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.
The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce.
Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.
When we practice loving kindness and compassion we are the first ones to profit.
The practical joke is the psychiatry of baseball.
[The Outsiders] was very competitive, in the best possible way.
Full of love, full of companionship and fellowship, pranks and practical jokes and ball-busting.
I think I have a reputation for being really serious.
In interviews I use big words, but I'm just an emotional goofball. I play practical jokes all the time.
Practice things until you can't get them wrong. Not until you get them right. There's a big difference.
My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like that. And now I've come full circle because that's what the TV show is too.
When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them.
They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
I have never been able to see life as anything but a vast complicated practical joke, and it's better to laugh than cry.
Practice doesn't make perfect if you're doing it wrong.
There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke.
Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes.
Racing is bulging at the seams with pure nutball characters, men who can drink more, screw more, fight more, laugh more, joke more, than practically any collection of people in the world.
Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.
A Swedish newspaper reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize.
I was quite sure it was a practical joke.
Life is too short not to do a little practical joking.
I'd worked with Marlon [Brando] a couple of times, and he was a practical joker.
He was far more interested in getting jokes out than getting the words out. We laughed all the time.
Keep practicing. Never let someone tell you you're too small or too slow.
My father, the practical joker, did not care for practical jokes on himself;
he did not encourage the practice in me.
When you have a couple hundred people in one huge space, that's gonna lead to jokes and it's a breeding ground for practical jokes and teasing.
Many of the rites of passage, those rituals of growing up found in our society, are in the form of such comic, practical joking affairs--which we ignore in the belief that they possess no deeper significance. Yet it is precisely in their being regarded as unimportant that they take on importance. For in them we ritualize and dramatize attitudes which contradict and often embarrass the sacred values which we proclaim through our solemn ceremonies and rituals of nationhood.
To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.
Before I realized I had faults, I was already joking about it, to get attention.
By the time I went to high school, I had a pretty practiced routine down.
There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness.
People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it's cold, if they've paid and if they are told it's funny beforehand.
My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so you're never disappointed and never put any trust in anything, and I try to prepare for the day that I wake up and everyone I know is like LOL JK BEST LONG - RUNNING PRACTICAL JOKE EVER, so I've never really let myself freak out or get too excited about anything. Not in an effort to be cool or not care or anything, just out of neurosis.
It never gets easier. You just get better.
Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too.
I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake he's got to clean it off. You hit a guy with a water balloon, he's got to dry off. Guy's in the hospital, you get his testicles shaved, he scratches and bleeds for a week... it's funny... you're not supposed to have a heart attack, it kills the joke.
I like there to be a joke in practically every photo I take.
Nobody has the right to make photography boring.
In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher
All the great story lines are great practical jokes that people fall for over and over again.
What a vast fraternity it is,--that of 'Hearts that Ache.
' For the last three months it has seemed to me as though all society were coming to me, to drop its mask for a moment and initiate me into the mystery. How we do suffer! And we go on laughing; for, as a practical joke at our expense, life is a success.
General scepticism is the live mental attitude of refusing to conclude.
It is a permanent torpor of the will, renewing itself in detail towards each successive thesis that offers, and you can no more kill it off by logic than you can kill off obstinacy or practical joking.
Lying contains the same hostile elements as a practical joke in that the 'victim' ends up looking foolish in his own eyes and laughable in everyone else's.
When something makes no sense, sometimes you make something of it.
A joke. A spiritual practice. A life.