I finally had my prostate checked. And I was super-thankful that I taught my asshole to whistle before the doctor stuck his finger in there. The look on his face was priceless.— Ryan Reynolds
Unexpected Prostate quotations
I recently formed a foundation to raise awareness for prostate cancer.
I feel it's very necessary that men be more aware about prostate cancer and their health in general.
Since I came to the White House, I got two hearing aids, a colon operation, skin cancer, a prostate operation, and I was shot. The damn thing is, I've never felt better in my life.
A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.
African-American women who develop breast cancer are more likely to die from the disease than White women of the same age. Survival rates are worse among African-Americans for colon, prostate and ovarian cancers as well.
I am living proof that if you catch prostate cancer early, it can be reduced to a temporary inconvenience, and you can go back to a normal life.
Granted, prostate exams aren't the most enjoyable things in the world, but they only last about 10 seconds. It's well worth it. Just think of the possible consequences if you don't get it done.
The four most common cancers that account for about 80 percent of all cancer deaths are lung, breast, colorectal cancer, and prostate cancer.
'Early stages' is when the cancer is completely contained within the prostate.
If it is detected when the cancer is entirely in the gland, the chance for full recovery is at its highest.
I would like to hear Elliot Carter's Fourth String Quartet, if only to discover what a cranky prostate does to one's polyphony.
You need a prostate to understand,” I said.
The moment the doctor said he wanted to do a biopsy, in my heart I thought I'd probably got it. But I also know a lot of people who have also had prostate cancer, so I had a reasonably good idea what to expect.
Hell, we spent $200 Billion to get a scared guy who needed a shave out of a fox-hole! And he may even die of prostate cancer before we even get a chance to try him, dammit!
New rule: Stop calling it Obamacare. It's not like Obama will be the doctor for your next prostate exam. That's just a common fantasy of Republican men.
I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.
Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
My friend's granddad died of prostate cancer and it had a profound effect on me.
So when I was presented with the opportunity to speak out, I had to take it. This is a life threatening issue for men, it happens every day. The more you know the better your chances are of dealing with it if the worst were to happen.
After I had prostate cancer, I had something which was misdiagnosed which led to a load of back operations.
People have no idea how much work it is for a man to produce an ejaculation.
You have this seminal vesicle churning out this fluid, the prostate gland producing an alkaline solution. It's like having five iron chefs in your crotch working to cook up this stuff.
It seems The Journal of Neurology reports that the longer you smoke, the less likely you are to develop Parkinson's disease. So what are they telling us? Follow me guys. Remember, a couple of months ago, doctors said drinking a glass of alcohol every day was good for your heart. Smoking prevents Parkinson's disease. Marijuana is good for glaucoma. Sex is good for your prostate. You know, screw health care. Let's party!
John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery.
But the doctors did tell him it would be several months before he could be sexually active again. All the other Democratic candidates have been very supportive. Joe Lieberman called to wish him the best. The Rev. Al Sharpton called to offer prayers. Former President Bill Clinton called Mrs. Kerry and asked if she was lonely.
Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life.
But it all changes after that. You get a great car, a great job. You got a wife, kids, you got your health. But then your company is sold out from under you, your stocks tank, your wife's sleeping with the gardener and your teenage daughter is pregnant. And you notice that you have a prostate so hard, you can actually take a hammer to it. But hey, not one zit.
A new medical study reports that men who eat ten pizzas a week are less likely to develop prostate problems at age 50. That's because they are usually dead by age 40.
Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS.
You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.
The body, enervated by the excesses of the preceding day, weighs down and prostates the mind also.
The idea is to encourage men to go with their wives and screen.
So, if the wife is going to go and do her screening, then the man can go and do his baseline screening, too. Men need to be aware of the health of their bodies, as well - prostate cancer and breast cancer are almost on the same level.
Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'
I'd like to end the book a lot of ways.
Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice. This is the best I can do. All the trouble in the world is human trouble. Well, that's not true. But when cancer cells run amok and burst out of the prostate and take over the liver and lymph glands and end up killing everything in the body including themselves, they certainly are acting like some humans we know.
My father's death from prostate cancer in 1993 was tragic.
He never complained about pain. He was a fighter. By the time he was ready to die he wasn't able to die in the way that he wanted to, which seemed an outrage to me.
Major League Baseball has prostate awareness for two weeks leading up to Father's Day, and I want to get involved in that.
I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.
The mans prostate was so encased by the tumour that doctors couldn't even see it. The tumour was wrapped around the gland...when he started out his PSA was...around 5,000...it eventually normalised...and he is alive and well now..and I think his PSA count is like 3 or 4.
Hurray, Hallelujah, and Happy Prostate! Finally, someone has taken the years and done the work, so the rest of us no longer need suffer from ignorance as to how to have good prostate health. That someone is Roger Mason, and all that one needs to know in order to have a happy prostate has been distilled down into this one book. I would stake the health of my prostate on it, and can tell you as a prostate cancer survivor; it is the ONLY way to go.
Vincent Gallo has put a curse on my colon and a hex on my prostate.
He called me a 'fat pig' in the New York Post and told the New York Observer I have 'the physique of a slave-trader.' He is angry at me because I said his 'The Brown Bunny' was the worst movie in the history of the Cannes Film Festival... it is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of 'The Brown Bunny.'
I was diagnosed with an early, early stage of prostate cancer.
I was almost a vegetarian then. I was heading that direction. What pushed me over the edge, was the doctor who did the diagnosis. He said in a discussion about prostate cancer that he had never seen a vegetarian with prostate cancer. And this is not a holistic doctor, this is a regular, mainstream doctor. And I was just blown away.