quote by Lewis Grizzard

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

— Lewis Grizzard

Gorgeous Real Funny quotations

Real funny quote The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.
The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.

Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up.

After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?"

If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier

Real funny quote It is when you finally learn that your  are all in your mind that your real life
It is when you finally learn that your are all in your mind that your real life begins.

When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.

There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends.

I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.


Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports.

.. all the others are games.

Real funny quote To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend.

I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real.

True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style.

Real funny quote Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret.


Buy real records in real shops, or I'll come round your house and scream at your mother.

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

Real funny quote I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
45

Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected.

For a long time, I refused to wear jeans.

I liked high-waisted pants, but jeans made me feel like I wasn't being unique. Even now, I won't wear the skinny-jeans style, because most people wear those - they have to be baggier, boyfriend-looking, or sort of like a mom jean. I'm real funny that way.

The disc, being flat, has no real horizon.

Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world.

Real funny quote Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody is going to know wh
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody is going to know whether you did it or not.

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.

The heart can get really cold if all you've known is winter.

Real funny quote A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.

Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking.

And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.


No friendship is an accident.

Real funny quote The real workout starts when you want to stop.
The real workout starts when you want to stop.
34

The real competition is against the little voice inside you that wants to quit

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."

Lust is the sin that gets me excited.

Luckily, because I'm married, I also get really good jewelry out of it.

Real funny quote The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is w
The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.


I feel bad for people who have never been addicted to anything, because they're the real losers. You want to know why? Because they don't know what it's like to really want something - and then get it again and again and again.

Hrithik is the go-to guy for queries related to diet.

He is great with expressions and is funny in real life. I wonder why someone hasn't cast him in a comic role yet.

Real funny quote Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo.

You Too? I thought I was the only one.

It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' authentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it.

Real funny quote Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.

If you have two friends in your lifetime, you're lucky.

If you have one good friend, you're more than lucky

The real excitement is playing the game.

There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.

Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego.

In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don't look anything alike. But people do say that we sound alike. Sarah Jessica is an adorable girl and she is very funny.

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