quote by George Burns

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

— George Burns

Colorful Retirement Jokes quotations

Retirement jokes quote When you stop living at work and start working at living - retirement.

When you stop living at work and start working at living - retirement.

When one door closes, another one opens.

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.

Retirement jokes quote A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good.

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good.

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Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas.

The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.

A man can't retire his experience.

Retirement jokes quote The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

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Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

I was thinking Im going to die but I'm not going to tap

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day.

It's either that or buy a new golf ball.

When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made.

I have joked before that there is a good chance that I might retire before Tendulkar.

I always joke and say I want to invent a comfortable stiletto and then retire.

I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album.

But I can't think of anything I just stopped doing for no reason.

I don't do plays without jokes anymore.

I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit in the dark for two and a half hours and not tell them the joke.

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