quote by L. Ron Hubbard

You're here so you're a Scientologist. Now we're going to make you into an expert auditor no matter what happens. We'd rather have you dead than incapable.

— L. Ron Hubbard

Unexpected Scientologist quotations

When Michael Jackson, a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich, white woman, married Elvis Presley's daughter the Scientologist. Makes you proud to be an American, dudn't it?


When you are generalizing, and when your goal is to malign and to say things about an entire group - there are tens of millions of Scientologists in the world - when you decide to blanket statement that 'Scientology is evil,' you are my enemy.

It's well known I'm a Scientologist, and that has helped me to find that inner peace in my life and it's something that has given me great stability and tools that I use.

I don't think I know a Scientologist except when I see one or two of their actors on the Hollywood screen.

I love being a scientologist, as it's helped me in every single aspect of my life.


People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just so out there it's just laughable.

The church acknowledges some Scientologists choose to sever communications with family members who leave. The church says it is a fundamental human right to cease communication with someone. It adds disconnection is used against expelled members and those who attack the church.

If anyone is getting industrious trying to enturbulate [sic] or stop Scientology or its activities, I can make Captain Bligh look like a Sunday-school teacher. There is probably no limit on what I would do to safeguard Man's only road to freedom against persons who ... seek to stop Scientology or hurt Scientologists.

We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.'

If you really look at the numbers at the entertainment industry, in comparison to the small number of Scientologists that are celebrities, the number wouldn't even register. I think Scientology has done an amazing job convincing people that there is a great number of celebrities in the "Church."


I'm ripe for the picking for the Scientologists - one of those creeps.

Someone's got to find me. Some little weird cult can just pluck me up, because I'm ripe for the picking.

Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.

I never went to church a day in my life.

The dominant religion (influence) in my family was my grandfather who was a Scientologist.

When you're a Scientologist it's like the movie Goodfellas, where the gangsters hang out with only other gangsters. We only hung out with each other, so we knew we were saving the world.

I was a Scientologist before I was an actress, and I've always felt people are not only content with whatever religion I have, but are always interested.


Because Scientology is perceived and conceived by Scientologists as being this salvation for mankind, you can have people that lie with a very straight face if they believe that what they are doing is protecting the Church of Scientology.

I'm trying to write a TV show. Ideally it would be just a reality-TV show, getting the guy who played Eddie Winslow and Kirk Cameron to live in a house. The Jehovah's Witnesses would come to the house a lot or something like that. I kind of like the idea of Scientologists and Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses trying to convert Kirk Cameron.

With so many mind-bytes to be downloaded, so many mental codons to be replicated, it is no wonder that child brains are gullible, open to almost any suggestion, vulnerable to subversion, easy prey to Moonies, Scientologists and nuns. Like immune-deficient patients, children are wide open to mental infections that adults might brush off without effort.

Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident.

.. you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help.

The media have the ability to attract the craziest people to call in perfectly absurd tips. Every newsroom in the world gets updates from UFOlogists, graphologists, scientologists, paranoiacs, and every sort of conspiracy theorist.


I stare at her, as dumbstruck as if she'd just admitted she's a Scientologist with an invitation to join Tom and Katie on the spaceship when it shows up.