quote by Jim Jefferies

I can't imagine being a woman in the world of acting, like where you age starts to weigh you down - you go from being attractive to where they [directors] decided you're out... I feel like with stand-up comedy, it doesn't matter if I've gotten fatter.

— Jim Jefferies

Colorful Stand Up Comedy quotations

Stand up comedy quote Be not afraid of going slowly, Be afraid of standing still.

Be not afraid of going slowly, Be afraid of standing still.

It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk.

I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.

Stand up comedy quote Getting knocked down in life is a given. Getting up and moving forward is a choi

Getting knocked down in life is a given. Getting up and moving forward is a choice.

I just love entertaining. I will do anything - stand-up comedy, video games, fencing, internet shorts - I just want to keep being lucky enough to entertain people anyway I can. I try never to limit my art to a medium.

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.

Stand up comedy quote A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decis

A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others.

Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else.

I play these sort of comical instruments I invented, like the electric rake and the electric plunger. I do a lot of almost stand-up comedy material. Just the juxtaposition of the different styles in itself sometimes is funny. Like, I do sort of an acoustic version of 'Purple Haze' that has some bluegrass licks in it.

I hate being mean. I watch those roasts on Comedy Central and they make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

Stand up comedy quote If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.

If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.

My road to success was a long road to success was a long road.

You get out of something what you put into it. I put blood, sweat and tears into stand-up comedy and the entertainment realm in general. For me to just know be coming around is a blessing. It's a blessing and it's an honor. It makes me say I can get more and I can do more.

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.

When you're standing around for an hour doing stand up it's no big deal but when you're standing around watching a show for an hour - it's a big difference. It's annoying - your feet hurt, your back hurts - it's just not the most comfortable way to see stand-up comedy.

Stand up comedy quote Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

It's exciting to be able to do something completely independent without anybody challenging it, and it's a big part of the reason why I'm enjoying doing the stand-up comedy, is I'm able to go out and interact with people one-on-one after the show. It's very punk-rock.

Stand up comedy quote Be strong enough to stand alone, be yourself enough to stand apart, but be wise

Be strong enough to stand alone, be yourself enough to stand apart, but be wise enough to stand together when the time comes.

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall through. You know what they say: 'The show must go off.

Stand up comedy quote Why fit in when you we born to stand out?

Why fit in when you we born to stand out?

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot.

The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason.

It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.

Stand up comedy quote It's easy to stand with the crowd. It takes courage to stand alone.

It's easy to stand with the crowd. It takes courage to stand alone.

If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up.

If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it.

I never wanted to be a model. I never wanted to be a serious actress. I started off doing comedy. I did a stand-up comedy camp at the Laugh Factory, and I started out on Nickelodeon.

The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts.

And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both.

Stand up comedy quote A child can teach an adult three things: To be happy for no reason, to always be

A child can teach an adult three things: To be happy for no reason, to always be curious, to fight tirelessly for something.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy.

Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time.

I'm going to try really hard not to be bossy, but I've only done stand-up comedy and then my own show where you're the total boss of everything!

Stand up comedy quote Be not afraid of growing slowly, be only afraid of standing still.

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be only afraid of standing still.

I usually have sex to my stand-up comedy album. Power move.

I don't like stand-up comedy that requires a lot of props.

I really respect people who can walk out onstage alone and with no other tool but their own minds and can make you laugh and maybe even think a little.

Do it [stand-up comedy] because it feels like the right thing to do.

Do it because you don't want to do anything else. There is something in you that does not want you to do anything else other than comedy.

Stand up comedy quote People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you sta

People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you.

One of the biggest misconceptions about me is that I'm a comedian, which I'm not. A comedian is someone who can stand up in front of an audience and make you laugh. I've never done stand-up and I never will. I'm a comic actor. My comedy comes through my characters.

Improvisation is almost like the retarded cousin in the comedy world.

We've been trying forever to get improvisation on TV. It's just like stand-up. It's best when it's just left alone. It doesn't translate always on TV. It's best live.

When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside.

Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, singing songs and the like. I tried some stand-up comedy. I had a captive audience in that bus. Then I realized I wanted to do more than that.

My mom and dad are both in stand-up comedy, so that's where I started, that's where I got everything. My roots are holding the mic.

I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy.

It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not.

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