I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.
— George Lopez

I love standup and I haven't given it up.
Ray Romano standup quote

Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.
— Camille Anna Paglia

I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of performers that were really inspired.
— Marc Maron

I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
— standup quotation by Ellen DeGeneres