It is commonly believed that anyone who tabulates numbers is a statistician. This is like believing that anyone who owns a scalpel is a surgeon.

— Robert Hooke

## Promising Statistician quotations

The greatest value of a picture is when it forces us to notice what we never expected to see.

The best thing about being a statistician is that you get to play in everyone's backyard.

While the individual man is an insoluble puzzle, in the aggregate he becomes a mathematical certainty. You can, for example, never foretell what any one man will be up to, but you can say with precision what an average number will be up to. Individuals vary, but percentages remain constant. So says the statistician.

The combination of some data and an aching desire for an answer does not ensure that a reasonable answer can be extracted from a given body of data.

### All models are wrong, but some are useful.

If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment.

### Finding oil is a multidisciplinary science.

You need a lot of people - statisticians, engineers, and geologists, of course. And what I have learned in the past 30 years is that I read people better than I read books.

### I keep saying the sexy job in the next ten years will be statisticians.

People think I'm joking, but who would've guessed that computer engineers would've been the sexy job of the 1990s?

I have learned more [from Balzac] than from all the professional historians, economists, and statisticians put together.

[Statistics are] the only tools by which an opening can be cut through the formidable thicket of difficulties that bars the path of those who pursue the Science of Man.

### Do not trust any statistics you did not fake yourself.

All we know about the world teaches us that the effects of A and B are always different-in some decimal place-for any A and B. Thus asking "are the effects different?" is foolish.

The statistician cannot excuse himself from the duty of getting his head clear on the principles of scientific inference, but equally no other thinking man can avoid a like obligation.

Statistical thinking will one day be as necessary for efficient citizenship as the ability to read and write!

I keep saying that the sexy job in the next 10 years will be statisticians, and I'm not kidding.

Sampling, statisticians have told us, is a much more effective way of getting a good census.

Statisticians, like artists, have the bad habit of falling in love with their models.

### Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

If all the statisticians in the world were laid head to toe, they wouldn't be able to reach a conclusion

Statistics are the triumph of the quantitative method, and the quantitative method is the victory of sterility and death.

To understand God's thoughts, one must study statistics, for these are the measure of His purpose.

Data scientists are statisticians because being a statistician is awesome and anyone who does cool things with data is a statistician.

### Statisticians do it with confidence, frequency and variation

The statistician cannot evade the responsibility for understanding the process he applies or recommends.

Don't be a novelist --- be a statistician. Much more scope for the imagination.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

Years ago a statistician might have claimed that statistics deals with the processing of data. . . to-days statistician will be more likely to say that statistics is concerned with decision making in the face of uncertainty.

### Figures don't lie, but liars figure.

The only useful function of a statistician is to make predictions, and thus to provide a basis for action.

### The best time to plan an experiment is after you've done it.

It is easy to lie with statistics; it is easier to lie without them.

Any one who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

The business of the statistician is to catalyze the scientific learning process.