I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.— Steven Wright
Terrific Super Funny quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a hint: one of 'em is super illegal.
Condoms should be marked in 3 sizes: jumbo, colossal and super colossal, so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
I like someone who has a super gentle spirit and energy.
I’m really gentle, and so I like a boy who will treat me that way.
It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl.
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny.
But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you.
If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year?
I don't want to get myself in trouble - and I don't think I'm super important or anything - but I think it's so funny that when you look at the business and the way that people make decisions in their lives, whether they're in art or music or they're in industry, they forget that being unique is the answer.
Calm is a super power.
NASA scientists announced the discovery of 50 new planets, among them what they're calling Super Earth. It's indistinguishable from regular earth until it removes its glasses.
EXTREMELY FUNNY! A SUPER-VIRTUOSO! I expected to enjoy 'The Two and Only,' but I didn't expect to be touched, much less to find my eyes growing moist.
I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't.
Anyone can run away, it's super easy. Facing problems and working through them, that's what makes you strong.
Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.
I'm, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky.
It would be really nice to make a record that would be super-fun to play live - a record that would be funny, with a little bit of heart.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I heard that people were really interested in the new haircut, which I think is so funny. Great haircut, I really like it. It goes great with the time period. And I was super, super, super-happy to have my bangs swept to the side rather than straight in front of me, which I dealt with for three seasons. I'm very, very much done with that.
I used to search and search for that actor or actress who's exactly what's in my head. But you have to realize you have to cast whoever's super talented and super funny, and then the character has to become at least partially theirs.
Amy [ Schumer] is a really, really hilarious writer.
She's super funny, and I feel like the core of our senses of humor is really similar.
Don't shrink your dreams. Super-size your courage and abilities.
I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that.
It's like, "Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich?" See? That was funny.
[In comedy] you never want to leave the actors hanging out to dry.
So you need to come up with funny individual stories for each character, and then you do this sort of comedy geometry, weaving them together. Once you've got a funny structure and you know why the scenes are funny, then you get super funny people to say your own lines, say their own lines, say things in their own way, and every scene is a live rewrite in front of the camera.
Ozzy, God bless him, is super talented.
He is a great man. He is a man of heart and soul and goodwill. He is a very funny man but he is a perfect poster child of why I have never touched drugs, alcohol, tobacco or fast food.
Trust me, You can dance.
Actors are a really funny bunch of people, especially the X-Men cast.
They're super funny and super nice, and they like to go out and get drinks and dinner and hang out. It's an experience. It's a summer. It's like camp. Everybody gets together and hangs out.
I went to school for marketing and advertising, so I have a special interest in good and funny commercials and why they work and why they're funny - which is one of the reasons I, like many people, like watching the Super Bowl, besides the game.
Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'.
But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
We deal with all the production headaches and all that stuff.
They just have to come here and be super funny. And it's worked out well. I mean, literally, every day they're all saying things I'd never thought I'd hear before and just some of the funniest discussions I've ever heard.
What makes American Elf so good is that it's incredibly personal and it runs the full spectrum from super-sickening sweetness to gut-wrenching terror and sorrow. It's a funny and powerful window into a real person's mind.
All the religions are super funny to me.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Look at your watch now. You're still a super hot female.
I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be funny without being dirty.
If you want to be in the best shape, diet is super important.
You can exercise all you want, but if you're not eating the right foods, it's not going to equal out. You're not going to get the results you want.