One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
— George Carlin
Satisfaction Tequila quotations
Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit.

I've been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it's never been about drinking to get drunk. I don't do that. I never drink tequila during the day, and I don't drive at night.
When life gives you lemons, get tequila and salt.
O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate
We should all believe in something, and I believe it's time for another shot of tequila.
I like to go dancing, have a few beers.
I like being alone, too. I have days where it's 'God, get me a shot of tequila.'
Take life with a pinch of salt A shot of tequila and a wedge of lime Do nothing at all But take your time
I believe - to the best of my recollection, anyway - that I soon made the classic error of moving from margaritas to actual shots of straight tequila. It does make it easier to meet new people.
And no one drank just one shot of tequila.
When life hands you lemons make lemonade.
Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.
Got no place to go, but there's a girl waitin' for me down in Mexico.
She got a bottle of tequila, a bottle of gin, and if I bring a little music, I could fit right in.
Little bitty bags are completely impractical - I like big slouchy bags because they have to be comfortable for my lovely wee Chihuahua Tequila, who comes everywhere with me. I'm devoted to him, now my kids have long since flown the nest.
I wanted to do my part to help preserve that golden age of travel.
.. I step aboard The Patron Tequila Express railcar, and I go back in time to the days when a long journey was something fun and very special.
Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey.
Love burns for longer and warms you up on the inside and sometimes it makes you do stupid things. Tequila makes you wasted.
Tequila is my salmon.
Vodka eyeballing sounds great, but it's a slippery slope.
Next, you'll be scotch nostriling, tequila nippling and, before you know it, Jager tainting.
I have been instrumental in banning bottled water on the set.
It hasn't gone that well with the crew... so I replaced it with tequila.
I'd go to a more civil party just to socialize, and I didn't know what to do with myself. So I drank a shot of tequila. And then I drank another one. I probably had four or five shots. I was like, "Tequila! It wakes you right up!" But no.
Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila.
Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila.
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat.
And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
Tequila?" I asked him, skeptically. "Are you sure on that one? I thought the base for a love potion was supposed to be champagne." "Champagne, tequila, what's the difference, so long as it'll lower her inhibitions?" Bob said. "Uh. I'm thinking it's going to get us a, um, sleazier result.
My husband and I went to Bald Head Island for our four-year anniversary.
We spent the night in bed with champagne, tequila and Krispy Kreme doughnuts and watched a boxing match on Showtime.
Bland writing - timid, antiseptic, vanilla writing - is nearly as unhealthy as the brutal and dark. Instead of sipping, say, elixir, nectar, tequila, or champagne, the reader is invited to slurp lumpy milk or choke on the author's dust bunnies.
I swear to you, I am the cheapest drunk on the planet.
It takes nothing to get me loopy and doing stupid stuff. Yeah. Some of you like that? Well... like riding an electric floor buffer for a shot of tequila. Did it!
An ounce of breast milk is even more potent than the finest tequila.
I'm the Cool One," she told herself. "Somebody give me some tequila because I'll totally drink it. And there's no way you're going to find me later having a panic attack in your parents' bathroom. Who wants to French-kiss?
If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.
Hey, ah, does anyone want a cookie or something? Oh yeah. A cookie. That would make everything better. Dunked in a shot of tequila , maybe? Or better yet, just the bottle? Yeah, that ought to do it.
Now tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably has betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!
Pour me another tequila, I'm going to put on your red satin dress. You put on my clothes.
This week it's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, toasted. And then, I'll put some salt on my hand like I'm taking a tequila shot and then take a bite of the sandwich.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
I saw Tequila Sunrise as a romantic picture with complex, bigger than life characters.