Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!— Redd Foxx
Craziest Thanksgiving Turkey quotations
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.
People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
My favorite meal is turkey and mashed potatoes.
I love Thanksgiving, it's just my favorite. I can have Thanksgiving all year round.
We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless.
Christmas dinner's dark and blue. When you stop and try to see it From the turkey's point of view.
It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.
May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!
I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'
Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
My most memorable meal is every Thanksgiving.
I love the food: The turkey and stuffing; the sweet potatoes and rice, which come from my mother's Southern heritage; the mashed potatoes, which come from my wife's Midwestern roots; the Campbell's green bean casserole; and of course, pumpkin pie.
The thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.
Stand up, on this Thanksgiving Day, stand upon your feet.
Believe in man. Soberly and with clear eyes, believe in your own time and place. There is not, and there never has been a better time, or a better place to live in.
I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.
Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.
Detente - isn't that what a farmer has with his turkey - until Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.
A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue but the parent of all the other virtues.
Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions.
For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They prefer to buy the bird live and then push it in front of a subway train.
I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.
Here's a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.
Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl. Boy and girl angst over which family they visit at Thanksgiving and which one in December and whether or not it's best to serve turkey or goose for the family feast. When first faced with the reality that the family you married into does things differently, the warmth of tradition can take on a chill.
I'd love to give my girls a traditional Thanksgiving with turkey and all that jazz, but we've raised them to love Tuscan food so much that they don't care for it. My favorite is a nice polenta with beef stew and broccoli rabe on the side.
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.
Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.