This wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. You don't want to mix emotions up with a wine like that. You lose the taste.
— Ernest Hemingway

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright toasts quote

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
— Helen Rowland

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
— Don Rickles

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
— toasts quotation by Steven Wright