Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.— Jeremy Clarkson
Unbelievable Top Gear quotations
Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip top if you must, but take the step.
This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers.
Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.”
Mexican cars are just going to be lazy, feckless, flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat.
When you reach the top, keep climbing.
I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
Change gear, change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That's a lot of effort in a day.
A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.
No, it will never have enough power until I can spin the wheels at the end of the straightaway in high gear. Too much power is never enough.
This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite
The climb is tough, but the view from the top is worth it.
[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.
Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze.
The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean the Buddha - which is to demean oneself.
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!
I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.
When you help another up a mountain, you are a little nearer to the top yourself.
I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?
If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.
This is just the happiest car in the world! I shall call it Oliver! Not that we'd ever name a car on Top Gear. I wish I hadn't said that.
The man on top of the mountain didn't fall there.
Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.
Acting is a sport. On stage you must be ready to move like a tennis player on his toes. Your concentration must be keen, your reflexes sharp; your body and mind are in top gear, the chase is on. Acting is energy. In the theatre people pay to see energy.
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it
Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.
Some say he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called ‘Steve’. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!
Believe in yourself and back yourself to come out on top. A fulfilling career is waiting for those brave enough to find it.
The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.
Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley.
Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
If you don't like a rule... just follow it... reach on the top... and change the rule.
Throughout the Arab and Islamic world the feeling is that we are now in top gear for a war of civilizations, a clash of civilizations. Support for the United States is very low and there are no voices within the Muslim world, except for a very few.
The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian.
Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.