When the legislative and executive powers are united in the same person, or in the same body of magistrates, there can be no liberty; because apprehensions may arise, lest the same monarch or senate should enact tyrannical laws, to execute them in a tyrannical manner.— Baron de Montesquieu
Craziest Umpire quotations
What passes for investigative journalism is finding somebody with their pants down - literally or otherwise.
All you umpires, back to the bleachers.
Referees, hit the showers. It's my game. I pitch, I hit, I catch. I run the bases. At sunset, I've won or lost. At sunrise, I'm out again, giving it the old try.
In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading.
The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you.
Whenever you have a tight situation and there's a close pitch, the umpire gets a squawk no matter how he calls it.
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.
Referees are the law. They have a whistle. They blow it. And that whistle is the articulation of God's justice.
Guilt says I've done something wrong;
... shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake; ... shame says I am a mistake. Guilt says what did was not good; ... shame says I am no good.
I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.
You can't applaud a referee.
The job of arguing with the umpire belongs to the manager, because it won't hurt the team if he gets thrown out of the game.
Cricket is a most precarious profession;
it is called a team game but, in fact, no one is so lonely as a batsman facing a bowler supported by ten fieldsmen and observed by two umpires to ensure that his error does not go unpunished.
The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
Once women are not excluded, I don't think any of us will give a damn what pronouns are used. That wasn't the point.
The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order.
The existence of a free market does not of course eliminate the need for government. On the contrary, government is essential both as a forum for determining the "rule of the game" and as an umpire to interpret and enforce the rules decided on.
Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.
I am deeply saddened and shocked at the loss of umpire Wally Bell.
Once when the Yankee's Lou Pinella was batting he questioned a Palermo strike call. Pinella demanded, "Where was that pitch at?" Palermo told him that a man wearing Yankee pinstripes in front of 30,000 people should not end a sentence with a preposition. So Pinella, no dummy, said, "OK, where was that pitch at, asshole?"
There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'
I mean people up here aren't stupid, I'm lower gene pool and I kind of sit in amazement at watching some of them because they are pretty damn smart.
Chaos umpire sits And by decision more embroils the fray by which he reigns: next him high arbiter Chance governs all.
Salary arbitration is probably in place - was put in place then and probably is in place now - because I supported it.
You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.
In sport, part of the game is accepting the umpire's call, no matter how hard that might be. Sometimes the calls go your way, and sometimes they don't.
Umpire Harold Bird, having a wonderful time, signalling everything in the world, including stopping traffic coming on from behind.
Some have said that I can accept inadequacies in my players but not in umpires.
That completely misses the point. I can't tolerate anyone's mistake.
If custom is to avail for proof of soundness, we too, surely, may advance our prevailing custom; and if they reject this, we are surely not bound to follow theirs. Let the inspired Scripture, then, be our umpire, and the vote of truth will surely be given to those whose dogmas are found to agree with the Divine words.
I'm a little too belligerent. I cuss and swear at people. I yell at umpires and maybe I'm a little to tough at home sometimes. I don't sign as many autographs as I should and I haven't always been that good with writers.
We talked to the referees before the game;
there's always new situations to adjust, for the refs and for us as well. Even on the ice, it's good for players to talk and interact with the referee.
The roughest thing I ever said to an umpire was, 'Are you sure?'
And I will place within them as a guide My umpire conscience, whom if they will hear Light after light well used they shall attain, And to the end persisting, safe arrive.
Umpiring is best described as the profession of standing between two seven-year olds with one ice cream cone.
Now, I don't know how they judge all that, but if anybody in the world deserves to be in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, Ritchie Valens does.