The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a dam' good head waiter.
— Nubar Gulbenkian

A diplomat these days in nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.
Peter Ustinov waiters quote

I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky. On being an actor
— Harrison Ford

Would you convey my compliments to the purist who reads your proofs and tell him or her that I write in a sort of broken-down patois which is something like the way a Swiss waiter talks, and that when I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it will stay split, and when I interrupt the velvety smoothness of my more or less literate syntax with a few sudden words of bar-room vernacular, that is done with the eyes wide open and the mind relaxed but attentive.
— Raymond Chandler

The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it.
— waiters quotation by William Collier