quote by Dick Gregory

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.

— Dick Gregory

Strong Waitress quotations

I'd played dumbasses a lot. On Mad About You, I played a very dumb waitress and they saw me.

I prefer ordinary girls - you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing. Most of the girls I go out with are just good friends. Just because I go out to the cinema with a girl, it doesn't mean we are dating.

Once I cried in a restaurant because the waitress told me I couldn't eat my soup with a fork, I had to use a spoon.

The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.


When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight.'

I wasn't a very good waitress, always spilling things on people and forgetting things. I once spilled ashes all over Mike Wallace's table.

I started in the restaurant business at the age of 19 as a waitress.

I loved the atmosphere and the camaraderie of the restaurant business. I loved not having to go to an office. I loved making people happy.

I've always been melancholic. At a party, everyone would be looking at the glittering chandeliers and I'd be looking at the waitress's cracked shoes.

The useless days will add up to something.

The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming.


The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.

I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.

The waitress brought me another drink.

She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn't let her. "Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?" she asked me. "The big show is inside my head," I said.

If the waitress has dirty ankles, the chili is good.

I was at a restaurant, and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress understood me. She asked me, "How would you like your eggs?" I thought I would answer her anyway and said, "Incubated! And then raised, plucked, beheaded, cut up, put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun. Damn! I don't have that much time! Scrambled!"


Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.

I'd much rather have sat there and just been a fly on the wall, instead of having to smile at people. I'd rather have been a waitress. Just gone round and stared at people.

You can't come out of drama school and think, 'It's all going to be amazing.

' You have to expect to work in a bar for at least five years and be a waitress for maybe two!


I'm thinking waiters and waitresses are going to be bracing for more customers coming in going, not just kind of where is that beef from, but, like, where is that vanilla from and what's up with that sunflower oil? Is it organic or not and how many pesticides?

My mom was a waitress, and my dad was a plumber who worked for the City of San Clemente fixing mains breaks, so not too glamorous.

I was never a nightclub manager or a hostess.

I want to make that very clear. I was an executive at my club. I was a director of VIP operations, that's much different than a manager, that's much different than a waitress, it's different than, you know, a host - I was like an executive-level position

Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.

Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.


For the rest of my life I'll be thinking about that hamburger.

I'll be sitting there at the counter, holding it in my hands with tears streaming down my cheeks. The waitress will be looking away because she doesn't like to see kids crying when they are eating hamburgers.

I had a meal in Pizza Hut and the waitress told me I didn't need to pay.

So I decided to be a bit cheeky and ask for more pizza and garlic bread.

I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.

All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.

When I go into a restaurant, the waitress who brings me my meal, the cook in the back who prepared it, the delivery men, the wholesalers, the workers in the food-processing factories, the butchers, the farmers, the ranchers, and everyone else in the economic food chain are all being used by God to “give me this day my daily bread.”


I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind.

I get heartfelt thanks from all kinds of people.

Today I heard from a waitress in Georgia who has lost her job and is trying to figure out how her local bank can change the terms on her credit card, and I heard from a physicist at a major research university who wants to explain a better theory of financial stress tests.

She tries to get a waitressing job for a while - I mean, she's looking for a while before she finds Coyote Ugly - and it's hard to get a waitressing job in the city.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

Being a waitress can be a very brutal job sometimes, and I remember during the training, the person said to me, "The redder the lips, the better the tips," and that was like the only advice she gave me.

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