quote by Henny Youngman

A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

— Henny Youngman

Most Powerful Wheelchairs quotations

There was a golden retriever who saved countless lives on September 11 by going back in to find people. His companion was in a wheelchair. He got him out and kept going back in to save others.

I'd rather be in this wheelchair knowing God than on my feet without him.

I can tell you the day The Beach Boys will no longer exist - never.

We'll be on stage in wheelchairs.

Does anyone know if Lamborghini makes wheelchair vehicles? If not, I want to change that.

Pain is Pain. Broken is Broken. FEAR is the Biggest Disability of all. And will PARALYZE you More Than Being in a Wheelchair.

The bible says no man can take your joy.

That means no person can make you live with a negative attitude. No circumstance, no adversity can force you to live in despair. As Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of wheelchair-bound President Franklin D. Roosevelt, often said, ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Should you happen to notice that another person is extremely tall or overweight, eats too much or declines convivial drinks, has red hair or goes about in a wheelchair, ought to get married or ought not to be pregnant -- see if you can refrain from bringing these astonishing observations to that person's attention.

The people who criticise you will not be the ones taking care of your legs when you are in your wheelchair. People who never drove a car in these conditions, they just don't know.

In 2005, a man diagnosed with multiple myeloma asked me if he would be alive to watch his daughter graduate from high school in a few months. In 2009, bound to a wheelchair, he watched his daughter graduate from college. The wheelchair had nothing to do with his cancer. The man had fallen down while coaching his youngest son's baseball team.

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

I was born with scoliosis. I have a double curvature of the spine, and it's forced me to use a wheelchair because the disease has really taken hold. It really saddens me that I can't ride.

Every person with a disability has a slightly different kind of disability.

Not everybody has the same problems. Usually the wheelchairs are the wheelchairs. It's the same height and so on. It's a problem.

Some damage is too severe, some harm endures.

And what you have to do is accept it. And by accept it I mean, don’t be the paralyzed person in the bed who is waiting to walk again. Realize, it’s never gonna happen. And find some other way to get around –swing from a vine, get a Mad Max wheelchair. Anything but…wait.

My father and mother are both very smart people and I always felt I was a little short of the mark. So I would compensate with a character like Logan Cale. He's wearing glasses, he's in a wheelchair, he's a computer genius. He's very far away from who I am, but I really wanted to play roles where I'd be taken seriously.

I'm like a cartoon! I'll look this way when I'm eighty.

I can see it now, people will be rolling me around in a wheelchair and I'll still have my big hair, nails, my high heels and my boobs stuck out!

My dad gave me my first bike at 16. I soon fell off and was in a wheelchair for weeks. I haven't fallen since.

The only thing we have to fear is a giant wheelchair-crushing squid.

Well... uh... actually, I guess that's the only thing I have to fear.

There's the paradox of making pop music when you're in your 50s.

People weren't meant to be doing that originally and yet they are. Mick Jagger [used to say] we're not going to be doing Satisfaction when I'm in a wheelchair.

By the way, there is nothing cute about a pink wheelchair. Pink doesn't change a thing.

As a wheelchair user, you cant move about freely.

Thats the only thing that bothers me a little. When Im in the Euro Group in Brussels, colleagues who want to talk to me have to come to me. But I hope they know that this has nothing to do with arrogance.

Confiscation in any form is an unhealthy solution for a real disease.

It amounts to telling men that because they are economically crippled, they must abandon all efforts to get well and allow the state to provide them with free wheelchairs.

We settled Mama into the wheelchair and loaded her down with both our pocketbooks and a vase of flowers I had picked to present to our host in hopes of softening the effects of any opinions Mama might vent during the evening.

The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.

In Paris they have special wheelchairs that go through every doorway.

They don't change the doorways, they change the wheelchairs. To hell with the people! If someone weighs a couple more pounds, that's it!

You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.

If I had to last 20 years, I would probably be batting in a wheelchair.

For me, the wheelchair symbolizes disability in a way a cane does not.

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm as famous for my wheelchair and disabilities as I am for my discoveries.

I thought being in the wheelchair might be kind of limiting for me as an actor.

It turned out cool in a lot of ways. Of course, at the end of the day, I can get up out of the chair and go home, but I'm very acutely aware that most people can't, so I try to give the situation that depth.

My father said you can't make a living in birds, my relatives all went into business: bankers, stockbrokers. However, they eventually lost it all and died in wheelchairs. Sometimes you have to be a little aberrant.

I feel bad for people in wheelchairs and people who have to use crutches.

You can take them in a wheelchair and put them in a pool, so they can move their arms and legs. In a pool disabled people can do things that they can't normally do otherwise.