quote by Maynard James Keenan

Today's woman puts on wigs, fake eyelashes, false nails, sixteen pounds of make-up/shadows/blushes/creams, living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has implants and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a 'real' man

— Maynard James Keenan

Whopping Wig quotations

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

Hair extensions and wigs are not the same thing.

Wigs are for old ladies and drag queens. Extensions are for women who want longer hair. To be safe, never bring it up if you think a woman is wearing either. No good comes of it.

A wartime Minister of Information is compelled, in the national interest, to such continuous acts of duplicity that even his natural hair must grow to resemble a wig.

I hope you have lost your good looks, for while they last any fool can adore you, and the adoration of fools is bad for the soul. No, give me a ruined complexion and a lost figure and sixteen chins on a farmyard of Crow's feet and an obvious wig. Then you shall see me coming out strong.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite.

Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.

Your wig steers the gig.

To be cool is to believe. To stay cool is to have the sweet fragments of serenity rock your wig away.

There's a heart beneath the boobs and a brain beneath the wig.

We have to have powder for our wigs; that is why so many poor people have no bread.

You know, if I tell the press that I like long blonde hair, the next day there will be girls with long hair wigs outside waiting for me.

For Heaven's sake discard the monstrous wig which makes the English judges look like rats peeping through bunches of oakum.

I never could get my hair to do what I wanted it to do, so I started wearing the wigs. It all came from a very serious place. I wanted to look a certain way.

There was an Old Man of Messina, Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;

She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig, To the perfect delight of Messina.

When I'm bored or tired of being blonde, I'll throw on a wig.

It's a lot less of a permanent way to change your look, and I have about 10 - all different colors, shapes, bobs, long hair, short, feathered.

Peter also uses his wig as a cereal bowl... He'll some times have some, like, Top Ramen in it.

I love to come in and play with a wig or glasses or clothes.

I love using props. I'm from the Peter Sellers school of trying to prepare for the character.

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

I do think that we have to be careful not to assume that getting a perm or wearing a blonde wig is a desire for whiteness. It may or may not be. Listen, I live in a poor black neighborhood where women wear blue hair, green hair, and all kinds of stuff. So, I simply see it as a different set of choices.

If people think I'm a dumb blonde, because of the way I look, then they're dumber than they think I am. If people think I'm not very deep because of my wigs and outfits, then they're not very deep.

Singing is an incredible expression and something that is important to me, but where I feel comfortable with how much I reveal about myself is acting. I enjoy the characters, the costumes, the wigs and just being a chameleon.

Blondes do have more fun. But sometimes I look in the mirror and still feel like I'm wearing a wig.

Well, in Twilight, I started out dying my hair blonde.

And then, as the movie progressed, I wore wigs. The wigs went through a transformation. In Breaking Dawn, it's a little longer. That's my arc.

They would glue the wig to the front of my forehead, and after a while it would give me a headache.

One GOP Congressman named Carlos Curbelo actually suggested that Donald Trump may be a 'phantom candidate' that has been planted by Democrats. The DNC strongly denied this - while Hillary said, 'Crap, they figured it out! Take off the wig, Bill.'

When you're acting, everything is there around you, you just have to believe that it's real. When you're standing there with a slightly grey wig on and you have a baby in your arms screaming in your ear, you can go: "Well, I guess this is what it's like!"

Triumphant Tories, and desponding Whigs, Forget their feuds, and join to save their wigs.

Three things are men most likely to be cheated in, a horse, a wig, and a wife.

I was kidnapped by aliens, they came down from outer space with ray guns, but I fooled them by wearing a wig and laughing in a foreign accent, and I escaped.

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. I love the fact I'm a shape shifter who can go unnoticed.

All the pins stuck in my head from the wig.

I would set off a metal detector. And you know when your head gets really itchy? So when the wig gets put on at like 5:30, 6 A.M., and you can't take it off until 7 P.M. - I won't miss all the pins scratching against my scalp.

I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.

If I negate powdered wigs, I am still left with unpowdered wigs.

You can't do four movies and be good to everybody and be flying all night and shooting all day with a different wig and then be going to sing on Broadway without feeling a little tired. You endlessly feel you're letting somebody down.

Zac Efron is my obsession, we're the same person.

We're not actually here, it's like Janet and Michael Jackson. He just puts on his wig and a dress, and it's me, and you don't know that. It's one of the greatest mysteries of all time.

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