quote by Richard Jeni

In the United States economic system you can lose big or you can win big. If you lose you wind up wearing a Hefty bag and sleeping in a doorway. If you win you can have sex with Catherine Zeta Jones when you're seventy-five.

— Richard Jeni

Most Powerful Zeta quotations

Most women in leading roles are very boyish looking.

The one girl working right now who I think is a real beauty in a classic sense - the only real 12-cylinder engine - is Catherine Zeta-Jones.

I don't look like Catherine Zeta-Jones, so I don't think Hollywood would be that interested in me, to be honest. I just want nice work.

I've got to be the geekiest guy in the world in a lot of ways. I'm like a zeta male.

It's very cool to be able to say that my first real film was 'Footloose' and my second film I got to star alongside Tom Cruise and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

I wanted very much to do Traffic and at one point it looked like I was going to work on it. And then, of course, Catherine Zeta-Jones had her relationship with Michael Douglas and it suddenly didn't happen.

Catherine Zeta-Jones started out like me. Her big break in Hollywood was in 'Zorro.'

Since Catherine [Zeta-Jones] and I got together, I've cut back dramatically.

My priorities changed, and I still love acting and all that, but not as much as I love watching my two kids grow up.

I think I can be relatively attractive when I dress up, but I'm not Julia Roberts or Catherine Zeta Jones.

I have so many girl crushes, it changes all the time.

I love Catherine Zeta Jones, she's so beautiful, Lucy Liu, Jennifer Aniston and Zooey Deschanel; she's adorable.

No one really knows what mattresses are meant to gain from their lives either.

They are large, friendly, pocket-sprung creatures that live quiet private lives in the marshes of Sqornshellous Zeta. Many of them get caught, slaughtered, dried out, shipped out and slept on. None of them seems to mind this and all of them are called Zem.

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