Milk the cow, but do not pull off the udder.

Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them!

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

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Taxes, are the dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society.

Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction.

The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.

When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

Today's dime is really a dollar with all the taxes deducted.

The tax collector must love poor people. He is creating so many of them.

Large fortunes are all founded either on the occupation of land, or lending or the taxation of labor.

Inflation is the one form of taxation that can be imposed without legislation.

Nothing hurts more than having to pay an income tax, unless it is not having to pay an income tax.

There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government.

The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality.

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.

Our forefathers made one mistake. What they should have fought for was representation without taxation.

No nation ever taxed itself into prosperity.

Taxes and golf are alike, you drive your heart out for the green, and then end up in the hole.

It's getting so that children have to be educated to realize that Damn and Taxes: are two separate words.

In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.

Government lasts as long as the under-taxed can defend themselves against the over-taxed.

We are taxed twice as much by our idleness, three times as much by our pride and four times as much by our foolishness.

We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.

Our tax law is a 1, 598-page hydra-headed monster and I'm going to attack and attack and attack until I have ironed out every fault in it.

The rope by which the great blocks of taxes are attached to any citizenry is simple loyalty.

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

The taxpayer -- that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.

In other words, a democratic government is the only one in which those who vote for a tax can escape the obligation to pay it.

I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.

Of all our natural resources, the first one to be exhausted may be the taxpayer.

A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait for tax time.

The thing generally raised on city land is taxes.

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

In the laws of the land, she has no rights;

in government she has no voice. And in spite of another principle recognized in this Republic, namely, that 'taxation without representation is tyranny,' she is taxed without being represented.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents.

There is just one thing I can promise you about the outer-space program -- your tax-dollar will go further.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

Taxing is an easy business. Any projector can contrive new compositions, any bungler can add to the old.

To tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men.

Read my lips: no new taxes.

It is the duty of a good shepherd to shear his sheep, not to skin them.

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist -- the taxidermist leaves the hide.

No statesmen ever will find it worth his pains, to tax our labor and excise our brain.

Uncle claims that if he files his income tax wrong he'll go to jail, and if he files it right he'll go to the poor house.

Nothing is so well calculated to produce a death-like torpor in the country as an extended system of taxation and a great national debt.

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least possible amount of hissing.

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age -- which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.