Marriage isn't a carnival ride.— Aisha Tyler
The most bumbling Aisha Tyler quotes that are simple and will have a huge impact on you
I don't believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies.
There's a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.
On general principle, I boycott shows that don't employ actors.
Nothing really worth having is easy to get.
The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
Karaoke is the great equalizer.
You can only really learn from failure ... To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
My parents were vegetarians. I'd show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don't think so.
The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
I've always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.
I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn't do anything academically around the arts.
You know, it's about getting out there and having a good time.
Not about worrying - all these young books for women are like I'm 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can't get a date. Come on.
When I was young I thought, 'Yeah, people don't see, they're not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am'. And the guys that mentored me were like, 'You just have to keep getting up'. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like, "Trust me, you don't want to have to actually interact with these people."
I liked comedy, but didn't know it was something you could do for a living.
I actually wanted to be an attorney.
Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
I like grown up comedy.
I love it when I come across a word I don't know.
And I would never treat my audience like they weren't smart enough to come along with me.
I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone's afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
I love to be busy and be challenged. I'm my happiest when I'm under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.'
I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they're already dead and they can't feel it. They don't have feelings.
I have one girlfriend who is dating right now - she's divorced - and she's on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that's not a real game, but it's my favorite thing to do.
Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don't tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards. When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn't going to change who I was.
Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose.
I don't want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I'm super-grateful.
I'm just myself, so I don't know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.
I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way. I don't want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery—much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they're always going to be up, and I think that's impossible for anyone.
I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
I'm black, and black don't crack. It does droop.
I'm such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
I grew up on the back of a motorcycle - my dad didn't have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being.
Sadly, my being's fibers need to hit the gym.
I don't want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work. Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet, wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
I don't know if I was always an open person, but I think stand-up comics specifically have this way of running towards embarrassing things - whereas regular people tend to run away - because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
I am absolutely a Giants fan and I'm a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
If you haven't noticed yet, working sucks.
Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome. It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon. If you ever needed to ruin someone's fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I'd still have plenty of other things to do.
No one wants to hear about how awesome you were;
people want to hear about the time you blew it. So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
They always say some women like to fix people. I don't like to fix people, but you like a challenge.