Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney was an American radio and television writer. He became most famous as a humorist and commentator with his weekly broadcast A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney, a part of the CBS news program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011.
Let this list of 42 quotations by the American journalist Andy Rooney lead you to an inspirational day. Recharge yourself with motivational people, making, smart sayings, and satisfy your hunger for a better life.
What are the best Andy Rooney quotes?
We've made this hand-picked collection of quotes to show you what is Andy Rooney truly willing to say and leave for generations. Whether an inspirational quote or a motivational message about giving your best, we can all benefit from the wisdom, captured within these words.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us.
Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television.
It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort -- the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing -- the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention.
We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper.
About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.
I think a draft produces a better Army than the one we would have with all volunteers, because I think you get average Americans if you have a draft. And if it's an all-volunteer Army, you get people who join up because of some problem in their own lives. They don't have anything else to do, they don't have a job, or they can't find what they want to do, so they join the Army. And it doesn't produce the best Army.
I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Teachers who have plugged away at their jobs for twenty, thirty, and forty years are heroes. I suspect they know in their hearts they've done a good thing, too, and are more satisfied with themselves than most people are. Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch.
It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?, here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were.
They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.
I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive.
I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true.