I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.— Boris Johnson
The most terrific Boris Johnson quotes that may be undiscovered and unusual
It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.
If gay marriage was OK ... then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.
My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.
Ping-pong was invented on the dining tables of England in the 19th century, and it was called Wiff-waff! And there, I think, you have the difference between us and the rest of the world. Other nations, the French, looked at a dining table and saw an opportunity to have dinner; we looked at it an saw an opportunity to play Wiff-waff.
Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.
We need to look at our nannying, mollycoddled, politically correct culture in my view, which stops kids from going out and playing competitive sport. I also think we need to look at the shear fatness of the regulations which control people who want to help kids play sport.
My ideal world is, we're there, we're in the EU, trying to make it better.
I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five.
It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects
There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.
I don't believe that economic equality is possible;
indeed some measure of inequality is essential for the spirit of envy and keeping up with the Joneses that is, like greed, a valuable spur to economic activity.
I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative.
I'd like thousands of schools as good as the one I went to, Eton.
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose.
In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.
I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
I would ban sweets from school - but this pressure to bring in healthy food is too much.
It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
Volunteering is also now more crucial than ever in helping people find work.
The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.
Andrea Leadsom, I think, has all the qualities that you need at the moment.
She's got a lot of zap, a lot of drive, and all the experience. Plus I think she can articulate what's needed at the moment, which is a bit of an antidote to some of the gloom and negativity and misunderstanding about what the Brexit vote means.
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale.
Hitler showed the evil that could be done by the art of rhetoric.
Churchill showed how it could help to save humanity.
I firmly believe that volunteering is good for our society and brings communities together. It's a fantastic opportunity to get involved in your local community, to meet new people and to gain a sense of pride and achievement.
Times have been tough, the economy has been tough.
But I want to bring forward a fantastic manifesto for taking the city forwards.
I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.
I'm afraid Sadiq Khan is completely wrong.
The European Court of Justice is the supreme legal authority in our country.
Do you seriously propose that they are going to be so insane as to allow tariffs to be imposed. The EU is, I'm afraid a job destroying engine. You can see it all across southern Europe, you can see it, alas, in our country.
The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP they have run out of better ideas.
I think people have a legitimate right to minimise their tax obligations if they can, but they should pay their fair whack. I do think it's important to be transparent.
I am hoping very much to get re-elected but it is going to be a tough fight.
I'm not particularly politically correct, so I tend to reflect what I think are the terrible realities of life, which I think are, generally speaking, conservative.
It just happens I write fast and always have done.
I'm not one of those people who believes in going endlessly around finger wagging and ticking people off for occasional colourful use of language.
Some people play the piano, some do Sudoku, some watch television, some people go out to dinner parties. I write books.
What I really think about Banksy is I think he's a genius;
he's a great artist, and I like his stuff. But he's got to accept it if, from time to time, someone will need to paint over his work.
I believe we now have a glorious opportunity: we can pass our laws and set our taxes entirely according to the needs of the U.K. economy.
The difference between Hitler's speeches and Churchill's speeches was that Hitler made you think he could do anything; Churchill made you think you could do anything.
That is the best case for Bush; that, among other things, he liberated Iraq. It is good enough for me.
The beauty and riddle in studying the motives of any politician is in trying to decide what is idealism and what is self-interest, and often we are left to conclude that the answer is a mixture of the two.
It is easy to make promises - it is hard work to keep them.
London is a fantastic creator of jobs - but many of these jobs are going to people who don't originate in this country.
I think it'd be disgraceful if a chap wasn't allowed to have a bit of fun in Las Vegas. The real scandal would be if you went to Vegas and you didn't misbehave in some trivial way.
As a Scot Gordon Brown will find it hard to convince people in England he should be prime minister.
We did everything we could to break down barriers that restrain poorest.