I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

— David Lee Roth

The most proven David Lee Roth quotes to discover and learn by heart

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.


Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.


If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?


The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!


I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.


For the last 30 years, I've been leading a life of crime and international intrigue that's involved 40 stamps in my passport, love affairs, and broken hearts to go with each one of them. You would have to live three lifetimes to catch up with just the allegations that follow me!


If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.


Well a good writer writes, a good musician listens to a lot more than he actually composes, and if you're going to do lyrics - well, there's a Freudian slip. That's not even a slip, that's a Freudian move: I said going to do lyrics. If you really want it to ring true, you'll live it first. Go really get your heart broken!


Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade.


People say that life is a cesspool of darkness and dispair.

Well we of Van Halen are sailing through it in a yacht!


We've all got out self-destructive bad habits, the trick is to find four or five you personally like the best and just do those all the time.


Women are great. When they dig you, there's nothing they won't do. That kind of loyalty is hard to find - unless you've got a good dog.


About David Lee Roth

Quotes 95 sayings
Nationality American
Profession Musician
Birthday October 16

I'm a family oriented guy; I've personally started four or five this year.


When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it.


The Breakfast of Champions isn't cereal, it's the competition!


People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the audience to the stage.


Classic Van Halen made people want to dance and f**k.

Modern Van Halen makes you want to drink milk and drive foreign cars.


Music is like girlfriends to me; I'm continually astonished by the choices other people make.


Rap is poetry to music, like beatniks without beards and bongos.


Maybe I'm like acts of Congress or your favorite Chinese restaurant - you don't really want to know what's going on behind the door. I'm a real study in contrast, I expect, looking from without. But it adds up to what you get on stage.


It's not who wants to sleep with you; It's who wants to sleep with you again.


Rock & roll is not so much a question of electric guitars as it is striped pants.


I'm a family man. I personally started 3 or 4 families last year.


The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.


It doesn't matter the kind of music, it doesn't matter whether it's a cowboy hat or a yarmulke. I don't care if it's outer space or pop, the spirit is the same.


Give me a glazed doughnut, and a bottle of anything... to go!


The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train.


The only people who put iced tea in Jack Daniel's bottles is the Clash baby!


I always wanted to be an outrage to public decency and a threat to women.

And this is one of the few occupations where you're not only allowed that, but you're encouraged.


There are only so many letters in the alphabet.

When I talk to young musicians or authors and they ask for advice, I say, You gotta learn all the letters of your own personal alphabet. With music, you need to know all the different kinds of music and everything in and around your given instrument.


The most important part of any rock song is the guitar solo.


I take my personal upkeep real seriously;

my sense of organization and attention to detail; my memory; my business - I love the business.


Ya know, I always admired Ray Kroc, the man who invented McDonald's.

Ray had a vision of the most commonplace thing - a hamburger and fries to go - but to him it was just the greatest thing ever, and he was going to make it the greatest thing ever for everybody else, and he did.


It's always irritated me that people say, 'Where's the action? Oh wow, there's no action here; let's go somewhere else.' These people will never find the action.


You stick your head above the crowd and attract attention and sometimes somebody will throw a rock at you. That's the territory. You buy the land, you get the Indians.


They make this drink in Brazil Called cachaca.

It's sugar can alcholho. Costs 35 cents a quart. One quart of that stuff and you see God. Two quarts and you graow a pair of tight pants and an electric guitar.


Of course building a kitchen makes all the symmetric sense in the world because everybody's burning calories at 120 beats a minute. You could even register it on a graph at the DJ booth. "How fast are they burning calories, sir?" "126 a minute." "Are you sure?" "Oh, I'm very sure." You can meter that out.


In front of the camera and in front of the lens, there's no lawsuits, there's no agent, and there's most frequently no time limits... There's a longevity that's kind of built into it. I spend most of my time behind the scenes, and when it is time to perform, I'm genuinely delighted to do it.


I just wanted to be in show biz. I wanted to make music and sing and dance, tell jokes and stories, make ya smile, make ya cry - and charge you $ 8.50


An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance


A song without a hook is like a train without rails.

It skitters all over the place, bangs into everything. Boom! Crash! There goes Grand Central Station. Crushed by a train.


A lot of rock bands are truly a legend in their own minds.


When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television.

You get it, and at first it's novel and brand new and then you watch every channel, every show. And then you become a little more selective and more selective, until ultimately... you wind up with a radio.


The only thing I'm allergic to is criticism.


You gotta learn the alphabet, backwards and forwards.

And then the choice is yours, 'cause last I looked, the Bible is written in the same words, the exact same alphabet, as my favorite pornography. Choice is yours.


Stick your head above the crowd and eventually somebody will throw a rock at it.


Nobody's going to get a hot dog at my concert!


You know what rock musicians are? They are hung up, neurotic, over-weight hippies with sex problems.


Nine times out of 10 when people do a tribute album or tribute songs for somebody, it's what I call 'white boys playing reggae'. They know they can't, we know they can't, so they sing like they can't and play like they can't. They gently make fun of the idiom or sing in a false accent.